


Soulmates? Really?

by SonicoSenpai



Series: Smutty College AUs [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types, Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-, Togainu no Chi
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Fluff, As slow as I get anyway, Bedroom Voice, Bullying, Catboys, Collars, Country Mouse and City Boy, Cringe-worthy Smut, Crossover, Did I mention cringe?, Dirty Talk, Disappointment, Failed Dreams, First Kiss, Forced Submission, Intimidation, Life Changes, M/M, Magic, Magic v Technology, Medical Trauma, Non-con BDSM, Reluctant Soulmates, Slow Burn, ears and tails, kind of?, smut with plot, therapeutic writing, tropey, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25271362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai
Summary: A modern take of the Lamento Beyond The Void universe in a university setting. A young country cat moves to the big city of Ransen to make his dreams as a fighter (Touga) come true. To his dismay, Konoe fails to qualify for the entrance exam after a sadistic doctor finds something unusual in his blood. Trying to recover from his disappointment, Konoe admires the older students sparring in class and finds, to his surprise, a soul mark as appeared on his wrist.Worse, Konoe (From a single-parent home) doesn’t believe in soulmates. It seems his soulmate has other ideas.The entirety of this fic was inspired by a Final Fantasy VII fic that I’ve linked below. Mine won’t be nearly this funny—and Munchkin47’s is definitely worth a read!
Relationships: Arbitro (Togainu no Chi)/Konoe (Lamento), Konoe/Rai (Lamento)
Series: Smutty College AUs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845313
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. The Meet-Cute

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Third Class SOLDIER Strife's Adventures in the Big City](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24888214) by [Munchkin47](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munchkin47/pseuds/Munchkin47). 



> Yes, I’m starting a new fic during the pandemic to get my muse excited about something. I have been neglecting my other stories, but I find I need to get unstuck by getting ideas moving. So that’s what this is.
> 
> It’s going to be sappy and probably violent. I’ll add trigger warnings as I go, but please be advised.

After an exhausting, disappointing day on campus, I finally get a chance to return to my dorm room. My roommate Tokino is out at dinner. He’s the most social person I’ve ever known. That probably doesn't say much. I haven't really known many people in my life. I’m relieved that he isn’t here right now, though. I don’t think I could even handle talking to him. This has been the _worst_ day of my life, the first day to destroy my dream career.

The Void is long past and Sisa has been on its way to recovery and progress. In the country, crops are doing well, hunting is better. In Karou, my hometown, I was able to capture enough wild animals and sell their meat and fur to make a move to the large, modern city of Ransen. Ransen is _everything_ I was promised—and more—with electricity, running water and functioning sewers, highrise buildings, employment opportunities, and education. There’s even a thing called the Internet here. I still haven’t figured out all it can do, but I’ve learned so much since moving here. I just haven’t figured out how to handle all these cats that crowd the living space.

Almost a month ago, the dorms opened, and Tokino (a frequent peddler to Karou and my only friend) offered to share a room with me at the university. It seems I’m a smaller cat that most other breeds in the city—though I didn't feel particularly short or small in Karou. It makes me nervous to see all these hulking figures walking the streets, and I’ve had a more few close calls in dark alleys than I’d like to admit. Having a roommate I know, one I am already friends with, has made the transition smoother.

The University of Ransen is best known for its Touga training program. I’d planned to become a famous fighter—hone my already competent skills in the hopes of being able to return home, triumphant and successful, able to make a living as a bounty hunter after a brief and successful stint in the Ransen tournaments. It’s why I came here. I have no formal sword training, but it’s what I used to defend my territory and my livelihood for years. I was sure I’d place in one of the upper-division levels, just from all my experience, once permitted to take the entrance exam.

I was wrong.

After giving us four weeks to prepare for the entrance exam (and giving us alternative options to explore if we didn't make it), one of the instructors pulled me aside after class to tell me the bad news. It’s why I’m glad to be alone right now, so I can release my tears and disappointment in private.

Part of the exam included a rigorous and invasive physical exam. I’ve never been examined by a doctor before, but I found out quickly the experience can be humiliating. And worse, Dr. Arbitro wants to see me in his office again tomorrow morning, first thing. I’m dreading it. I just hope they only want to draw blood and not do anything else more invasive. Apparently, my bloodwork came back abnormal, disqualifying me from even taking the entrance exam at all.

When my instructor pulled me aside, he had me follow him to his office. I was sure he was going to offer me enrollment in one of the higher-level classes. I’ve seen some of the other existing Touga classes fight, and I know I could match at least the second class students. I’m very fast for my size, even if I’m not physically imposing.

Instead, the professor simply crossed his arms and watched me for a while. Then he finally sighed and opened his mouth.

“Listen, um, Konoe, isn’t it? I don’t want you to overreact at this news.”

My ears perked up immediately. I was a little surprised that he didn’t start off by congratulating me on my efforts, telling me I’d not only get to bypass the entrance exam but also enroll at the second or third level. But that isn’t what happened.

“I got a call from the medical officer this afternoon. You saw Dr. Arbitro yesterday, yes? Your physical exam results have come back with a, um, significant anomaly.”

“What is it? Do I have an illness?” I was very concerned at first. My mother died young when I was just a kitten. As I said, I’d never seen a doctor before. We still had a shaman in Karou, and I never saw him (if I could help it) after Mom passed.

“No, not exactly. But it’s unusual enough so further study is warranted. You’re to report back to the medical center tomorrow morning at eight.”

“But I have class,” I protested. I really do not _ever_ want to go back to the clinic. I really disliked how the doctor handled me and I hate being naked in front of others.

“Not anymore.”

“Excuse me?” Disappointment dripped down my neck, like a thin stream of ice water, gradually increasing to a full flood. “What do you mean?”

After another exasperated sigh, he continued. “You can continue studying here once they are finished examining you. But you are disqualified from Touga training and must find another subject.”

“What?” I wasn’t angry. I was just filled with disbelief and horror. I couldn’t believe my ears. How could this have happened? It must be a mistake! “Why?”

“You can study another subject. But your bloodwork has indicated a significant, shall we say, _contraindication_ to the Touga training program.”

“There must be some mistake,” I argued right away. I couldn’t believe it. I had come all this way, given up my home, worked my ass off, starved myself, basically using the same skills any of these Touga were learning. How could any of this be true? “There must have been a mixup at the lab or something!”

“The lab doesn’t make mistakes.”

“ _Everyone_ makes mistakes, sometimes,” I insisted, but my instructor didn’t seem to hear me.

“I know you’re disappointed. But they really don’t. And you’ll have all day tomorrow to work it out with them yourself. I’m sure they will repeat the exam.”

That wasn’t comforting in the least! 

“Don’t worry. You will find your place here. I’m sure of it,” he answered. “Dismissed.”

I didn’t have a choice. I was so upset I couldn’t even eat dinner. I just needed to be alone. I knew Tokino would be out, so I returned on my own, watching the other students flock to the cafeteria. I haven’t missed a meal since moving into the dorm. Since Mom died, I’ve been caring for myself. I’ve never seen so much food or had someone to make it for me—instead of growing it, hunting it, slaughtering it, and cooking it myself. I’m sure I’ll get an earful from Tokino, who had to teach me that in Ransen, cats actually eat _three_ times each day. He’ll miss me at dinner. I just hope he doesn’t rush back, so I can get myself together first.

As I lie on my bed, burying my face in my pillow, I burst into the tears I’ve been trying so hard to restrain. I’ve never felt so disappointed in my life—I’ve failed even before I begin. I just _can’t_ believe it.

I sob loudly—into my pillow—for a good twenty minutes before I can breathe normally again. I get up and check my reflection. I’ve been blessed with near-perfect skin, so it doesn’t look like I’ve been crying once I wipe the snot off my face. Still, I should wash up.

Heading down the deserted dorm hallway, I push open the door to one of the communal bathrooms to wash my face. I take good care to get cleaned up—noticing something crusty on the tip of my left ear, just where the white fur fades to brown. _Gross_. I must have scratched it or something—with my hand covered with pathetic tears and snot, I think, disgusted with the crunchy fur as well as my own weakness.

The clock on the wall over the door reads seven. It’s my last night, really, as a Touga candidate. I can’t imagine what my physical exam might show that would disqualify me, but there’s nothing I can do to appeal the process. I can only ask questions until I get a satisfactory answer from the clinic tomorrow. But right now—I remember one of the second year classes is meeting in the gym. They are advanced enough to be allowed to spar. I should go watch them for a while. I’m sure that will remind me that I’m a _good_ fighter—that I have what it takes—and also, I will avoid speaking to Tokino, who is sure to be disappointed and worried. He is kind to me, but he has a tendance to hover.

Before I leave, I glance down at my right forearm, just below my wrist. There’s an odd, tingling sensation there. I’ve never felt anything like it before. I rub it with my left hand and the buzzing sensation gets worse—almost like a day-old sunburn. But the pale skin looks normal. I rinse it with cool water and then pat it dry, rushing back down the hall and the stairs toward the gym.

The evening sky has deepened red where the moon of light has set. The moon of shadow can be seen just peeping over the city skyline. The air around the university is clean and non-polluted—a nice scent from the ancient forest that surrounds the city adds to the familiar comfort of nature. The lights have flickered on—and I’m used to their soft, electric glow. I appreciate that there’s no fire or oil to light the way. Electricity is weird, but it’s convenient and silent. I've never been one for fire.

The class has already started, and I enter quietly, pushing open the door carefully so as not to disturb. This particular class usually pits first and second class students together in sparring matches. There are a few observers in the crowd, and I join them in the stands, making myself as unobtrusive as possible so as not to interrupt the instruction.

The seconds are matched up with third class students today—since I see many larger cats I don’t recognize. As I let my gaze wander across the floor, which is already covered with mats, I am surprised to see the metallic glimmer of real weapons in the hands of the students. I’ve only ever seen them use wooden practice swords before, so this should be entertaining.

I’m not terribly impressed since I myself have used a sword for most of my life. But something strange happens when I scan the unfamiliar students. My wrist burns—hot and bright, more than a sunburn now—and a strange sensation fills my senses. My vision sharpens suddenly—bringing details of the cats waiting to spar below. My heart thumps loud and hard in my chest when I notice a tall, slender silver-haired cat waiting with the others. He is a student I haven’t seen before. His long, white hair is gently tousled, and matching fur bristled, waiting impatiently but ears tipped forward, listening to instructions. My nostrils flare—and it feels like I can almost detect his scent in the room—as if we are alone. For a moment, the rest of the gym goes blurry and time seems to slow down—as if he is standing under a spotlight. My mouth drops open in surprise.

He is quite a handsome cat—surely, I would have remembered if I’ve ever laid eyes on him before. My ears ring and my forearm continues to burn, but I’m so distracted by the white cat that I can’t even move. It feels like my body has frozen—or time has stopped around us—as he slowly, slowly lifts his gaze from the instructor to meet my eyes. A sharp shock of electricity bursts through my chest and melts into the rest of my body, pooling in my hips, making me shift in my seat. The blood rushes to my head and cock simultaneously. I’m 18 this year. This physical response shouldn’t be as big of a problem as it was a few years ago when my body started to go through a growth spurt and other changes. But it reminds me an awful lot of those uncomfortable moments that chased me inside, to remain alone and away from the view of others.

That’s when I see he is clearly looking at me, and he touches his left wrist as though hypnotized. My fur bristles and another even stronger jolt shocks me—this time at my burning wrist. I don’t really want to break our gaze, but my arm feels so weird, so I glance down when he looks down. I can’t believe my eyes when I take a quick glance at my wrist, pulling back the sleeve of my oversized hoodie to look more closely at the skin. It’s quickly cooling, but there is a mark there that certainly was _not_ there a few minutes ago. It looks like writing—and it says, “Rai,” in beautiful script.

 _What the hell is this?_ Returning my gaze to the silver cat, he looks stunned—pale blue eyes sparkle intensely, even from where I’m sitting up in the bleachers. He is holding out his left wrist in surprise, staring right at me. Is that... Could this cat be Rai? Is this... a _soul mark_? Is that gorgeous silver third class my _soulmate_?

My senses return to normal after a few seconds—and the silver cat loses the soft halo of light. My ears are flooded with soft chatter around me—and I hear two females in front of me talking loudly about some of the cats they are watching.

“Do you see the tall silver cat? He’s the best in his class. They are sure he’s going to graduate at the top of his class next year. He’s beaten fourth class students and even his instructors!”

“He’s from Setsura—he’s got to be, with a build like that,” her friend sighs softly. “He’s just so dreamy! Imagine what it would be like to feel those powerful arms wrapped around you!”

Alternating feelings overwhelm me in waves. First—the arousal I was experiencing gets much worse when I too think about that silver cat wrapping his arms around _me_. Second, my stomach turns over with nausea. _I have a soul mark._ I never wanted one. I don’t even _believe_ in soulmates!

When I was growing up, Mom always made sure to tell me that just because a mark shows up on your wrist does _not_ mean you’ll live happily ever after.

“Don’t get me wrong. I loved your father while we were together, but he was not for me. Of course, I’m so glad I met him—I’d never have had you, otherwise—but he was clearly meant for another, even from the start.” She never let up on it—telling me that a mark on my arm didn’t mean I was destined for happiness or pain. _I_ would be the one to decide.

As a result, I didn’t learn much about soulmates—not from her or the villagers in Karou after she passed. They mostly avoided me—thinking me the bastard spawn of a broken soul match.

“You’d have been better off if your parents had stayed together,” they’d scold—even as I was mourning the death of my mom. I was just a kitten, too—it wasn’t as though _I_ had any say over what my parents did or didn’t do before I was born! “Mark my words, kitten, you’d be in a much better place if you had both your parents. They'd probably both be here with you now and you wouldn't be alone.”

I never met my dad. Mom never talked about him—not even when she fell ill. She knew she was dying, but she also knew she’d taught me everything I knew about hunting and survival.

“You’ll only get stronger without me here. You’ll grow into a fine young man and live a happy, satisfying life. And it will _all_ be your choice,” she’d say again and again, even when I’d fret about who would care for me once she was gone. But she was right. In her final days, I was doing all the cooking, hunting, and maintenance for both of us, caring for her as much as she had lovingly raised me. While I grew up lonely, I was never sorry about not meeting my dad. He'd served his purpose and then moved along. I hoped he was happy, but he had nothing to do with me.

The girls in front of me are _still_ prattling about the silver cat—and what the hell am I going to do if _that_ is actually _Rai_? I flinch openly when I hear one of them whisper his name, adding something like, “Isn’t his name perfect? I think it means, like, thunder and lightning, and trust.”

Shit. Part of me is longing to run away from this gym—from this university—and never look back. I feel ridiculous for having sold all my possessions and my home only to fail here. But then... my body is oddly frozen in place. I can’t move even an inch—keeping my eyes glued to the silver cat gymnasium floor as he takes his place with the other students.

Rai is sparring with a student from his own class, it seems. _Impressive_ , I think, when I notice his weapons. They glimmer under the fluorescent light of the gym—unnatural but effective. I see the detailed carving on the edge of his longsword, a strangely notched blade that I recognize as an older style used for specialized fighting. You have to be gifted and well-practiced to use it effectively—since the notch can weaken your blade if you don’t have precise control over how your blows land. In his left hand, he wields a dagger—which is as lovingly cared for, I can tell from here.

He is standing closer to me than he was earlier, and for a second, he lifts his chin slightly—I _swear_ he is meeting my gaze—and he _smirks_. He has such a handsome face—that smirk is completely irreverent and out of place. To my relief, the girls in front of me titter, thinking he must be smiling up at them. And certainly, even with my lack of experience, I can feel the flirty heat of his gaze. But it’s bold—in the very least. Forward. Possibly too forward for my taste. I also notice, now that he is standing closer, that he is _really_ tall. He is easily as tall as the instructor—Bardo—an older tiger (probably also Setsuran) I met my first day here—who is waiting for everyone to take their positions.

As soon as the cats hear the starting bell, the sparring begins. I’m shocked by the grace of the silver cat’s movements. He is big, but he moves like a dancer. He’s dressed in training leathers, like everyone else—but somehow, they fit his body like a glove and move along with him as he moves as if through water. His weapons are an extension of his arms and shoulder, the strength of each blow coming from the core of his body and his legs as he effortlessly moves around the ring.

His partner is already shaking his head, saying something to him that makes Rai chuckle but doesn’t make him slow down. Before I have a chance to process the pieces of the exchange I heard, the girls in front of me giggle again.

“Oh, my gods! Did you just hear that?! His partner asked him to be _gentle_ with him!”

“That’s so hot!”

But the silver cat does _not_ go gentle on his partner. It seems his honor won’t allow it. I can see fighting spirit flowing in waves around his movements, covering him like a fog or a haze—and it’s only a matter of a minute before his partner is disarmed and yields. He holds the longsword at his partner’s neck, while the dagger deftly holds off the other’s blade.

Of course, the silver cat makes it to the next round, and the next. The more I watch, the more captivated I become, feeling a strange attraction to the precision of his movements, the power behind the elegance, how his hair trails behind him, the bloodlust sparkling in his eyes. The students are trained to spar carefully—no blood is drawn nor are bones broken—and Rai follows these rules perfectly.

The tiger cat instructor, Bardo, has been watching the silver cat with a pleased expression on his face and seems even more pleased when the third class wins the final round. There’s only one fight left—and that’s when I realize if I stay here for much longer, I may end up having to speak to him. I don't think I can handle that today.

He’s moved around the gym enough for me to get a look at a mark on his wrist—something that looks a _lot_ like mine. And he’s lifted his chin up to me with that little smirk after each battle. The girls in front of me are sure he is watching them, and they bicker in a friendly way back and forth, saying, “Oh, he’s looking at me!” and “No, that was for me!”

I admit I find him captivating—but I cannot imagine actually having a conversation with him. I need to get out of here before the next battle is over. I know I do not hold typical beliefs about soulmates. I have also heard that for many cats, especially when two males end up as soulmates, that it’s just an excuse to start the relationship off with sex. I have zero sexual experience to speak of—aside from what I’ve done to myself. And I’m sure as hell I don’t want to start up some torrid affair tonight— _not_ after the day I’ve had. Shit, I don’t even know what I will be doing after tomorrow! I can't deal with any of this right now.

The moment the bell rings to begin the final round, I sneak out of the gym. Their swords clash loudly as I reach the bottom step of the bleachers, but I don’t turn around once I head toward the exit. I shouldn’t feel anything—not even a creature as sensitive as a Ribika can physically feel another person’s gaze. And he shouldn’t be looking at me. He _should_ be watching his opponent. But still... I imagine that passionate icy smirk and I feel a tingle at my nape. I tug my sleeve down to hide the new mark on my wrist, though I’ve adjusted my hoodie a dozen times already.

The chilly night breeze floods my lungs when I step outside the gym. I didn’t even realize I’d been holding my breath until I get outside. I don’t waste any time—and I run back to the dorms as if trying to escape my destiny.


	2. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe returns to his dorm and discusses his horrible day with Tokino. They get a surprise visitor. (Well, Konoe really shouldn’t be surprised.)
> 
> Believe it or not, aside from some angst, there *aren’t* any trigger warnings for this chapter.
> 
> Seriously, people. Go play the lottery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do intend to finish every story I’ve started. I am a person who writes for therapeutic reasons and I rely heavily on flow (plus I like having open projects). I hope it’s not annoying to have so many stories at the same time, but this fandom is so tiny it can use every one. 
> 
> Please forgive me if it's irritating. And thanks for sticking around and reading! But I think I might even be able to update the Siren story soon!

Relieved when I reach the dorms, I rush up the two flights of stairs to my room. My heart is still thumping in my chest and my body is covered in sweat. I ran all the way home—and I let out a deep exhale when I get home, hands on my knees and bending over, exhausted.

“Hey—Konoe, what’s wrong?”

Startled by the voice, I look up and meet Tokino’s turquoise eyes. Worry is plastered all over his face as he runs a hand through his orange mop of hair. He has been my friend since we were kittens. I shouldn’t be surprised to see him here—it’s his room, too.

“We missed you at dinner. Did something happen?”

I consider my next words carefully. I could lie, saying I was just out for a run. But I’m sure he wouldn’t believe that. I’m ashamed for having missed dinner, but I was so upset after class I couldn’t face him or any of my fellow classmates. I’m hot and sweaty, so I slip the hoodie off my shoulders and hang it on the corner of the bunk bed before collapsing on my bed, the bottom bunk.

“Talk to me, Konoe.”

I look through my fingers, the back of my hand covering my eyes, to meet my friend’s gaze. His eyebrows lift and his mouth drops open.

“Oh, my gods. Holy _shit_ , Konoe.”

“What?” I ask, now worried. But then I follow his gaze and realize he is staring at my right wrist, the new soul mark plainly exposed.

“Konoe...” His surprised expression melts into a smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling, his lips curving up. “Huh. I _see_.” His tone is teasing, especially as I try to hide the mark on my wrist. “Maybe you don’t think I’m a good enough friend to share something as life-changing as a _soul mark_.”

“No, that’s not—um, ugh.” I pull at my hair in frustration.

“Why are you unhappy?” Tokino asks, waiting a moment for me to gather myself. “This is a _good_ thing. You must have met... Rai today.”

He reaches out and gently takes my hand, turning it over in both of his and running his fingertips over the elegant cursive script.

“That’s early, isn't it? You're only eighteen. _Rai_ —what a name... Oh. Wait a second.” Tokino’s eyes move from my wrist to my face, and he peers closely at me. “ _Rai_? As in, the third level Setsuran hunk who can kick even his instructor’s ass? Oh, my _gods_.”

Irritated, I moan and pull at the roots of my hair again. I can’t even _look_ at my best friend without feeling weird and uncomfortable.

“Why wouldn’t you _tell_ me? Did your first meeting not go as you’d hoped?”

“No, it’s not that,” I admit. I wrack my brain, trying to recall if Tokino and I have ever discussed soulmates. I come up with nothing. “Haven’t I talked to you about soulmates before?”

Tokino shakes his head.

“Well, you know my mom was single, right?”

He nods. She actually passed away before I met Tokino.

“She never believed in soulmates. Her soulmate was my father, but he left her for someone else— _after_ getting her pregnant. She thought it was for the best—she never spoke either poorly or well of my father, but she didn’t think a relationship with him was necessary.”

“Okay,” Tokino says, nodding his head and taking my hand again. He’s trying to comfort me. “So... does that mean you don’t ‘believe’ in them either?”

“I really don’t,” I admit. I can hear the quotes around the word "believe."

“Konoe,” Tokino says, trying to restrain emotion in his voice. It takes a minute for me to realize he’s either upset or exasperated with me. “There’s nothing to ‘believe’ when it comes to soulmates. It either happens to you or it doesn’t.”

“Yeah, but isn’t it just an excuse to start off your relationship with s—um, I mean, start a physical relationship with a person?” A shudder rushes through my shoulders when I say the words out loud. And it’s _not_ fear, either. It’s the fact that Rai is so incredibly handsome and attractive. “I mean, I don’t know him. He doesn’t know me. Why should he, um, _we_ be so familiar with each other right off the bat?”

“I understand, Konoe. You’re a virgin.”

A hot, red blush fills my cheeks and seeps into my ears. I _am_ , in fact, a virgin—and I’m sure he could figure it out, seeing as that he’s my _only_ friend and _we’ve_ never slept together.

“That’s doesn't have _anything_ to do with it,” I protest, but I know he's probably right.

“I think it does. You’re just scared. And I don’t know. I’ve seen Rai in person, and I don’t know him, either. But he doesn’t have a bad reputation or anything. He's actually pretty popular.”

“It’s not about sex or popularity or anything like that. I’m just here to get my certification as a Touga. I want to live _my_ life, not one dictated for me.” Once the words leave my lips, the horrors of the day become real, and my eyes sting with bitter tears. I am ashamed I can’t hold them all in—and worse still, I let out a soft sob.

Tokino pulls me close and climbs into bed, scooting me over to make room and holding my head against his chest, tucking it under his chin.

“Hey, hey. It’s not _all_ bad. He’s _really_ handsome. And you don’t have to jump right into the sack, either. He’s here to learn, too, after all. I’m sure he will understand if you want to take things slow.”

I can’t stop myself as more tears fall, soaking the front of my best friend’s shirt.

“Aww, I don’t understand, but it’s okay. You’re obviously upset. But it can’t _all_ be about the soulmate thing. Unless...” he pauses a moment. “Unless you _did_ meet and he did something to you.” His voice is much sharper now. “He’s your _soulmate_. He shouldn’t _ever_ want to hurt you, Konoe. What the hell happened?!”

“Nothing!” I sob. “I _didn’t_ actually talk to him. Our eyes met—in the gym. The second-level students were sparring with the thirds. He was one of those students. He looked up at me the minute the mark appeared. But he didn’t approach me.” I feel pathetic, tears and sobs hitching my breath.

“What’s the matter, then?” Comforting hands rub my back and I sigh into his chest, trying to get a hold of myself. “What’s really going on?”

After another loud sigh, I finally open my mouth.

“Tokino, I’ve been disqualified from taking the entrance exam.”

“ _What_? What do you mean?” My friend can’t hide his shock.

“The instructor spoke to me after class—Instructor Mink. He said the results of my physical have disqualified me. I have some anomaly.”

“They can’t kick you out! You’ve worked so hard—given up your home and everything—to get here! What the hell?!”

“I don’t know what it is, but he says there’s no mistake and that I will have to study something else. But I have to report to medical tomorrow morning for more testing and observation, at least until they figure out what to do with me. I’m just so disappointed!” Another mewling sob escapes, and I bury my face against my friend—thankful he is here, but at the same time ashamed of myself—both for failing and for crying about it.

“Oh, I think I get it. Your future is uncertain and about to change. And if your soulmate only has one more year after this, who knows what that means for the two of you?”

“Kinda,” I say. I don’t really want to get into the details.

“But you _saw_ him, didn’t you? Didn’t you, well, _feel_ anything?”

My heart lurches at the memory.

“Maybe,” I say, non-committal. I don't want to admit it.

“You did actually _look_ at that silver-haired cat, didn’t you? He’s incredibly attractive and talented. And he’s fucking _hot_.”

My ears flatten at Tokino’s blunt statement. It’s not that I disagree. I just feel weird and confused about the entire situation.

“Sorry. I shouldn't be talking about your soulmate like that,” Tokino says, serious.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t even know him.”

“You don’t know him _yet_. There’s plenty of time. You should at least _talk_ to him.”

“I can’t! Have you seen him fight? I’ve never seen someone move like that! He's in his natural habitat, like a fish in water—all grace and elegance. He didn't make a single mistake. What’s he going to think of me—a complete failure?!”

“You’re _not_ a failure. You just have some pre-existing medical thing. It’s a good thing it was caught early. Who knows? Maybe they can treat it and then you can take the exam like everyone else.”

“I just... I’ve never heard of anyone being rejected even before they get a chance to take the entrance exam.”

“I haven’t, either. So it probably _is_ serious. Don’t die or anything.”

A sharp huff of laughter escapes my mouth. He always jokes about death like that. It's a little morbid, but it's kind of our thing.

“That’s mean,” I protest, but my lips still curve up in a smile.

“Seriously. I’d miss you.”

Relaxing a little, I feel better. Maybe I should have talked to him earlier.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’ve paid for the entire year, haven’t you? They can’t just kick you out. You’ll get better in no time, I’m sure,” Tokino assures me. I can’t tell if he’s assuring me or himself, though. I hadn’t considered that I might actually have some _illness_ , nor that it might be a treatable condition. Mink just sounded so sure that I wouldn’t be back in the program. Ever.

A knock at the door startles us both. I’m embarrassed to be in Tokino’s arms, so I sit up quickly, wiping the tears from my eyes and grabbing a tissue to blow my nose. Tokino goes to the door and waits before opening it. He mouths, “Are you okay?” After seeing my nod, he opens the door.

“Oh. _Hello_.” I have never heard Tokino use that tone of voice before. It sounds a little husky—heavy and filled with arousal and mischief, mixed with genuine surprise. “I’m Tokino. I’m Konoe’s roommate.”

“Rai,” a low smooth voice introduces himself. Gods—the sound of that voice seeps into my ears and sinks into my hips. _Fuck_. What the hell is he doing here? How does he know where I live?! “Sorry it’s so late. I hope I’m not disturbing you. It’s just, um...”

I look up and see a gorgeous head of silver hair shimmering in the low light in the doorway.

“Yep. There’s only one Konoe at this school,” Tokino says smiling. “Would you like to come in?”

“He’s here?” Rai peeps over Tokino’s shoulder—and my heart flutters when his pale blue eyes meet mine. He’s even prettier in person and up close. And I mean _beautiful_ —in an ethereal way. _Otherworldly_. How the hell is _he_ my soulmate? How the hell did he end up with _me_?

“He is,” Tokino says boldly, and he moves aside. “Please come in.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to walk with me.” Rai addresses me directly—and when he speaks to me, his voice affects me even more.

“Um...” I stammer helplessly, glancing at Tokino for help to get out of this situation. “Actually, I was just—”

“You know,” Tokino interrupts, cutting me off, “Konoe missed dinner this evening. You should probably take him to get something to eat. He must be starving.” My so-called best friend yanks me out of bed by my arm, hard enough to pull it out of the socket, it feels like.

I glare at him. I just _told_ him I didn’t want anything to do with this soulmate stuff—at least not _today_. But I’m swept away by his force as he offers my right hand to Rai, who softly touches my fingers. The soft touch sends a jolt of electricity up my arm, making the mark on my wrist tingle. The silver cat glances down at my wrist, caressing his name with his fingers. I feel utterly powerless against the emotional pull in my chest, and having him touch me is surprisingly soothing. It feels like _home_.

Afraid to meet his eyes, I give in, allowing him to guide me gently from the room. He doesn’t speak while leading me down the hall—interlacing the fingers of his left hand with my right. I can’t help noticing the looks of admiration he gets as we pass other rooms and the open study area. They are followed by what seems to be disbelief and jealousy, once the critical gazes land on me.

Rai guides me downstairs, pulling me closer and putting a supportive hand on my elbow. He still doesn’t say anything, and I start to worry I’ve pissed him off. He frightens me a little—well, more like intimidates me. He gives me no leeway when we walk down the steps to the chilly evening outside, and he doesn’t hide the power behind his arm, though his fingers only weave through mine and squeeze lightly. I wonder if my hand feels sweaty and I worry about it.

“How did you find out where I live?” Mostly to start the conversation—and to suss out his mood—this seems like a safe opening question.

When I speak, the small rounded ears on the top of his head perk up and swivel toward me. He turns to look at me, too, and before I drop my gaze, I catch a surprised expression when he stops walking.

“Your voice,” he whispers.

“What?” It seems confusing to me. We are just outside another dorm now, standing alone under the soft glow of a lamp. The night is quiet and the moon of shadow hangs in the sky—reflecting silver on each strand of his hair. It glimmers softly—a lot like his weapons did at the gym. It’s unsettling and beautiful.

“You have a _really_ nice voice,” Rai purrs softly.

A fresh heavy blush darkens my cheeks and heats up my ears. I look away from him before returning his gaze with boldness I don't feel.

“You fight really well.” I don’t know anything about him. But I’m _not_ going to comment on how attractive he is.

“Hmm,” Rai hums. “I, um, didn’t think this would be so awkward.”

“Well, I’m kind of awkward,” I admit humorlessly. My remark gets his attention and he meets my gaze sharply.

“Why did you leave? You ran out of that gym faster than I could see.”

I don’t know what to say, so I figure it’s best to be honest.

“I was, um, overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do. It’s kinda been a long day,” I say, unable to keep the disappointment from my tone.

“Are you upset—that it’s _me_ , I mean?”

“That you’re what?”

A sigh of exasperation huffs right by my ear. Gods, even his _breath_ smells good. His body does, too—kind of like a winter forest. I wonder if it’s his soap or shampoo. He probably had a shower after sparring, since he smells so clean. Or maybe it’s just his natural scent. He smells _nice_.

“Let’s start over,” he says, his voice confident and calm. He releases my hand and turns to face me, sticking out his right hand. “I’m Rai.”

“Konoe.” I take his hand and shake it hesitantly—or intend to shake it but instead, he pulls my hand to his lips, pressing a soft, dry kiss on the back. It sends a wave of pleasure through my body and I’m so surprised that a tiny meow leaks out of my mouth. The meow is a little embarrassing. Tokino has told me I meow a lot for an adult—probably because I didn’t grow up around anyone who could teach me to use my words or make _adult_ sounds. And now it’s become a habit that I have to work really hard to suppress. I have no control right now.

Rai’s ears twitch again at the sound, while the corners of his plush lips—much too plush for the elegant monster I saw fighting in the gym today—curl up a little.

“It’s a _pleasure_ to meet you.” His voice rumbles softly with a purr—and I just now notice I am purring, too. I am fucking _purring_.

I sigh softly—or mean to sigh—but another meow escapes.

“I’ve never heard an adult meow like that. How old are you?”

Trying to hide how offended I feel, I glare up at him.

“I’m eighteen. How old are you?”

“Twenty. I’m a third-year here.”

“Well, I started my first year four weeks ago,” I say, unable to keep the brattiness from my tone. He smiles spreads wider.

“I know,” he says, his voice still gentle. I expect him to be irritated by my childish behavior, but he seems to like it. “I’m sure I would have come across you sooner if you weren’t so new.”

I don’t know what to say to this. My mind is frustrated— _he doesn’t know you, you don’t know him, this whole thing is ridiculous_. But my heart is murmuring something else— _he’s so pretty, he’s so strong, he’s perfect. You want to touch him._

My ears perk up when I actually realize what I’m feeling and I look away awkwardly. He is still holding my hand—and my body tingles where his skin touches me. To my (literal) shock, he reaches out and touches my chin, tilting it back to meet his gaze.

“Are you disappointed? With _me_ , I mean? As your soulmate?”

The question is so direct. But how the _hell_ could he think that? He’s got to know he’s perfect in every way. I open my mouth to reply something snarky, but I close it almost right away. He looks so earnest.

“It’s not that. I’ve just had a rough day.”

“So you said.”

“I don’t _know_ you.”

“ _Yet_ ,” Rai whispers softly. I can’t respond to that. Tokino said that, too. And I can’t deny that part of me wants to know him, wants him to get to know me. In the biblical sense, too. _Fuck_. I need to stop thinking with my dick. Rai sighs again, but it sounds breathy instead of irritated.

“I’d _like_ to get to know you,” he says. Gods. So blunt. Part of me cringes inwardly at this ridiculous, awkward situation.

“It’s just...” I let my voice trail off a little.

“Are you hungry?” He askes when he realizes I’m not going to elaborate. “Maybe we can get something to eat.”

“A little.”

He leads me toward the edge of campus—heading to a small take-out place. I freeze a moment, stumbling when he keeps going. He looks over his shoulder.

“You don’t like this place? There isn’t much else open right now.”

“It’s not that.” I don’t have my _wallet_. I left my dorm to get food _without_ my wallet. Plus I don’t have extra money to spend on food anyway. I should have eaten at the cafeteria.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s my treat. I could eat, too.”

He turns around and leads me into the restaurant—and when I don’t order, he looks down at me, eyes narrowed, and orders two hamburger combos, including drinks and fries. He pays and while we wait to get our food, he looks at me directly.

“You are _not_ making this easy.”

I huff slightly.

“Should I?”

“I’d just expected it might be different,” he says, looking over my shoulder outside the door. He can’t possibly see outside since it's dark and the glass reflects the restaurant, so his gaze must be wandering. He doesn’t say anything else but carries the tray to a private table in the corner. It’s pretty empty, even for this time of night. We have about a few more hours before they close, I guess.

He turns the tray sideways and pushes my meal toward me. Thank gods he doesn’t dump his fries all over the tray. I _hate_ that. It takes up too much room and makes them cold when you don’t eat them fast enough.

“Eat.” I can’t help obeying—but a flash of irritation rushes through me. He’s ordering me around. I wonder if it’s how he always is or if he thinks he can tell me what to do because of the damned mark on my wrist. But I’m hungry and was going to eat anyway. I’ll let it go for now.

“I didn’t think I’d ever have one,” he murmurs thoughtfully. I look up when he speaks. It’s really hard not to look at the person sitting across the table from you. I keep getting flustered by how handsome he is and how nice he sounds, and worst of all, how much attraction I feel.

“Have one what?”

“A soulmate.”

“Maybe I didn’t either,” I admit, keeping my voice soft. I do find his statement confusing, though. He’s _perfect_. How could he _not_ expect to have a soulmate?

“Why not?”

I finish chewing the hamburger and take a sip of soda. It’s pretty good. I still can’t get used to how _fast_ fast-food places are. How can they make so much food while you wait? It seems crazy to me. And fries are like a piece of heaven.

“I’m sort of in transition right now.”

“Because you just started, you mean?”

“Well, no.” I pause again and eat another two fries. “I got some unsettling news today.”

“Oh?” His interest is earnest—but his tone is casual. He watches me carefully—and it feels like his eyes are assessing me. It’s unnerving, but I refuse to be intimidated.

“I was held after class by Instructor Mink today. He said...” I take another breath before I admit my failure to this perfect handsome stranger. “He said my physical exam disqualified me from taking the entrance exam.”

“You’re planning to be a Touga?”

I nod.

“I sold every possession I had—my home, _everything_ —to get here. And it’s awfully upsetting.”

A hand reaches out—slightly greasy from the fries—and he clasps mine over the table, ignoring the fact I was about to stuff a few more fries in my mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. “That must be disappointing.”

“I’ve used a sword all my life,” I explain, raising my voice a little. “I’ve been hunting and defending my territory since I was a kitten.”

“Where are you from?”

“Karou.”

“Ah. The south.”

I nod, a little surprised he has heard of my village.

“They can’t kick you out, you know,” he points out. “Not if you’ve already paid the fees for the year anyway. They will find a place for you.”

“I don’t care,” I say, trying not to snap. “I just want to learn to _fight_. I want formal training.”

He nods, expression neutral—yet warmer than I expect.

“It’s natural to feel discouraged. But what was wrong with your physical? Are you ill?” He actually sounds concerned. Otherwise, I’d be upset with the pointless words. He doesn’t _know_ me. He can’t possibly understand how disappointed I am.

“I don’t know,” I sigh. “I have to report at medical tomorrow morning for further testing and observation.”

“Ugh,” he growls, looking away. “I fucking _hate_ that place.”

I look up, unable to hold back a surprised smile.

“You do? Why?”

“Arbitro. He’s a total _creep_. He’s _way_ too handsy and nosy. There’s no _way_ he’s a real doctor.”

I chuckle.

“My thoughts exactly.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“What?” I look up surprised.

“Tomorrow. I can take the day off and accompany you.”

“Why would you do that?”

“You’re my _soulmate_ ,” he says, surprised I even asked. “It might help—having someone at your side.”

“You don’t even know me,” I point out.

“ _Yet_. But we could talk more, maybe get to know each other a little.” He looks off to the side. With his eyes averted, it looks like a shy mannerism. Almost as though he is afraid of rejection.

That makes _no_ sense. I mean, _look_ at him. I do—look at him. I drink him in like a tall glass of water after a week in the desert. Gods, he’s good-looking. What the hell is he doing with me?

“Um, thanks for the offer,” I say. I wouldn’t mind his company, but I’d be completely embarrassed if they make me undress again. “I, um, am a little shy about... stuff.”

He returns his gaze to me, appraising me again.

“ _Shy_.” It sounds like he doesn't believe me.

I nod. Is that really so surprising?

“How can _you_ be shy?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you _look_ like that. _Sound_ like that. _Smell_ like that.” His hand reaches out—he’s licked his fingers clean—and brushes through the fur on my ears. “ _Feel_ like that.”

I’m startled by the touch, fluffing out my fur—but not because I’m disgusted by the touch. I really like it. It feels _amazing_. I’m just wondering if he’s complimenting me. I think he is, and the thought sends a flurry of excitement to my groin. My tail bristles as well and waves behind me. I hear a soft gasp, which is a surprisingly sexy sound.

“Your _tail_...”

Rai reaches out to capture it—moving faster than I can pull away. He combs his claws through the hooked tip, humming softly at the white and brown fur.

“Is it cold in the winter in Karou?”

I’m a little taken aback by the question—especially since he is still holding onto my tail. I’m not used to it being touched. It seems like a weird question.

“Um, it gets chilly and a few snowfalls, but it doesn’t usually stick to the ground. Why?”

“I’ve never seen a cat with such plush, short fur. And this—” fingering the hook gently, “is particularly fascinating.”

He did _indeed_ compliment me. I’m not sure how to take it—especially since I don't particularly like my crooked tail _and_ I’m fighting a raging erection underneath the table just from the touch alone. _Shit_. I’m starting to think it was a mistake to come here, and he catches me glancing at the door.

“Thinking of running again? I’d chase you. I’d catch you easily.”

“I’m pretty fast,” I murmur.

“My legs are longer. And I’m expecting it this time. I couldn’t exactly chase you in the middle of a spar, could I?”

“Did you want to?”

“I did. More than _anything_.” Smiling softly, he releases my tail and eats his last bite of hamburger. Even the way he eats is elegant. He has napkins, but he doesn’t need them. And gods, watching him lick his fingers is extremely attractive—even if it isn’t good manners. Everything he does is seductive. “Does that surprise you? Frighten you?”

“I’m not _scared_ ,” I counter—but I do in fact feel a little intimidated.

“Right,” he agrees cheerfully, but I hear the irony in his tone.

“You _don’t_ intimidate me,” I insist boldly, right to his face.

“You’re such a liar—as well as a tease. But don’t worry. I don’t mind one bit.” That little smirk shows up again—making its appearance for the first time since we locked eyes in the gym. It’s almost insufferable—or it would be if it weren’t so gods damned _hot_!

I avert my gaze and finish my meal in silence. He is watching me eat—and I’m not doing anything weird like licking my fingers or trying to tease. I wonder if he was doing it on purpose or if he just is naturally seductive. Or what if this is a result of being soulmates? What if we actually have some weird, magical bond?

“So... may I at least walk you to the clinic tomorrow morning?”

I jerk up my gaze.

“I won’t stay if you don’t want me to. I just... I want to get to _know_ you.”

He laughs when a skeptical look appears on my face.

“I had _no_ idea.”

“What?” I ask, offended again, trying to make my bristled fur settle. He stands up and piles the wrappers and empty containers onto the tray. Leaning down to pick up the tray and bring it to the trash, he whispers in my ear.

“You’re _perfect_ ,” he murmurs, following the whisper with a lick. It sends a shiver through my body as it was a completely unexpected touch. I wish now that I had taken longer with dinner. I’m not confident I can hide my hard-on at this point if I have to stand up now.

Perfect for _what_? I wonder.

“You have _no_ idea, do you.” His words come out as more of a statement than a question.

“About what?” _I’m not stupid_ , I think, wondering if I should be insulted.

“About how completely, utterly _adorable_ you are.”

A little stunned by his direct compliment, my face flares up in embarrassment. He leans in and smells me, this time lowering his face to the crook of my neck. To my surprise, a small meow leaks out of my mouth, but I don’t even try to fight him off. It feels so nice—so _comforting_. Why? I don’t even _know_ him!

I hear a loud crash—and both of us look up, startled. One of the female employees in the restaurant has dropped the mop onto the floor about two tables away. She’s been _watching_ us—her cheeks red with embarrassment.

“Oh. _Sorry_ ,” she says, with a lot more sass than her flushing face would suggest. “I didn’t mean to _interrupt_.”

Rai chuckles softly and pulls me up to stand. I stop worrying about my erection and follow him out of the restaurant.

“Gods,” I whisper.

“Embarrassed? There’s no need. She was looking when she should have given us have privacy. Unless...”

He looks down at me. We’re walking back to my dorm, I guess.

“Unless what?”

“Unless you really _are_ that innocent and inexperienced.”

I’m suddenly thankful for the dark—even as I huff my displeasure. At least my blush doesn’t show under the dim streetlights. I don’t say anything.

“I find you _irresistible_ ,” he admits softly.

I don’t know what to say. So I keep my mouth closed until we reach the dorm. I pull out my keycard—I know to keep it on me at all times so I don’t lock myself out as I did for the first week of classes. As I’m fishing around for it under my shirt—I wear it around my neck—he puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Wait.”

Again—another order—and gods damn it, I obey! I stop and look up at him.

“May I kiss you goodnight?”

My brain thinks _you don’t even know me!_ My body ignores it—betraying me completely—making me nod my head.

The moment I give consent, he pulls me away from the door, pressing me against the wall. He pushes his leg between mine—obviously, he is aware of my arousal, since he is deliberately pressing against my crotch with his thigh—and gods, the muscles in his legs are astonishing.

“Hmm.” He purrs softly—sounding utterly pleased with himself (and actually, maybe with me, too).

He leans in, slowly, one hand on the side of my neck as the other lifts my chin. Little shocks shiver through me at the touch. He brushes his nose against mine, nudging it gently, meeting my eyes. His pupils look dark—filled with lust. _Lust_? What the fuck? But it’s so hot I hardly know what to do. My fur bristles again and my vision narrows. It feels like it’s just the two of us again—like the first time we locked eyes. There’s nothing in the world but him and me. I reach out and gently stroke his silky hair with my fingers. It’s perfect—not a single knot or split end—and it’s gorgeous. _He_ is gorgeous.

“Hmm.” He repeats the soft hum and leans in, tilting his head to the side just a little. He drops a surprisingly soft, chaste kiss on my lips. There’s no tongue or anything—but his lips are _so_ soft, his breath perfectly sweet—even after we just ate hamburgers. It makes _no_ sense. A soft, purring trill escapes from my throat, and I respond by submitting and relaxing my body. It kind of does it all on its own.

It is probably the best first kiss in the entire land of Sisa. My heart is loud in my ears, and my cheeks light up when he pulls away—but I can’t avert my eyes. I feel like I should—but I just can’t. He’s too beautiful. Then, to my utter embarrassment, my mouth opens, and words spill out.

“You’re so pretty.”

That annoying sly smirk shows up on his lips again, and he kisses the tip of my nose swiftly, making me blink in surprise.

“I’ll meet you tomorrow morning. Say... 7:45? Here?”

I nod, helpless and afraid of what else might come out of my mouth, so I press my lips together.

“Will you want to eat breakfast first?”

I shake my head.

“I’m afraid I might get sick at the clinic if I do.” My words are followed by that weird trilling sound again. I notice his ears twitch.

“You know, even if you’re a little scared of me, I’m glad to have met you. Thank you for joining me.” He moves away and releases me, but guides my shoulder to the door. He swipes my keycard at the entrance and waits for me to go inside. My knees are shaking and my body is covered in sweat—and I can’t ever remember feeling so aroused before.

The light from inside the dorm shines out through the door once it’s open. I think about turning and walking in—but something holds me back. Instead, I reach up and cup his face in my hands, struggling to keep my claws from scratching him. They rhythmically draw and retract—and I can’t control them. I give his lower lip a gentle nip and pull away. A soft, gentle smile spreads on his face, and his pupils widen further.

“Good night, Rai,” I whisper. “Thanks for dinner.”

“My pleasure. Sleep well, kitten.”

It takes all my strength to turn around and walk inside. He doesn’t follow, but he watches me till I reach the stairwell. I give a little wave of my fingers just before heading up the stairs, and he nods his chin in acknowledgement.

The minute I’m out of sight—on the third step—I press my back against the wall and let out a loud exhale.

_Oh, my gods. I’m in such trouble. What the hell am I going to do?_

Running my fingers through my hair, I give the roots a sharp tug and then make my way upstairs to my room on unsteady, shaking legs. My heart doesn’t settle down, either—but I feel completely wrapped in warmth.


	3. A Rough Night Followed by a Troublesome Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe goes home suffering from serious arousal—only to find his roommate is still awake and annoying. He releases a little sexual tension in the shower and tucks into bed. Hours later, he has a sex dream involving his new soulmate.
> 
> The next morning goes well—and he meets Rai earlier than planned. Some more awkward flirting mixed with a nice helping of embarrassing angst. And perhaps an excessively horny Konoe which, while not canon, I hope is as fun to read as he is to write.

“How’d it go?” There’s no mistaking the nosy, cheerful voice that belongs to my roommate. I look up after closing the door behind me, meeting his bright turquoise gaze and smiling face.

“Um, it was fine.”

“ _I’ll say_ it was ‘fine.’ Shit, he’s even hotter up close! How the _hell_ did you get so lucky?!”

I sigh softly. Honestly, I’m disappointed Tokino is still awake. I don't want to talk anymore after such a long day. Plus my groin is heavy and my balls ache—as if I _haven’t_ rubbed one out in two weeks. (That is definitely not the case, so the soreness is a concern. Maybe it’s a soulmate thing.)

“I need a shower,” I say.

“Oh? A shower?! So much for waiting till you were ready! Care to elaborate?”

“Nothing _happened_!” I snap impatiently, gathering up a fresh pair of pajamas, a towel, and my shampoo and soap.

“Now you have me curious,” Tokino says. “Why do you need a shower, then?”

“ _Tokino_ ,” I say.

“You even _look_ different! Tell me you kissed at _least_!”

“Fine,” I mutter grumpily, my voice soft. “He may have kissed me goodnight.”

“Your first kiss! Oh, my gods! And how _was_ it? I mean, I can imagine—I _saw_ him up close—and there's no _way_ he's as inexperienced as you, for sure. _And_ he’s your soulmate! You know, I was pretty sure male/male pairings are much rarer these days...”

I let Tokino’s voice chatter away, ignoring it. I walk out of the room while he is still going on and on. I want a shower and then sleep. I don’t want to discuss what I experienced or how earth-shaking it was. I need to get a little privacy to take care of a rather pressing personal need.

Our floor has two shared bathrooms, both unisex. The showers are in longer stalls with locking doors for privacy. At this time of night, no one else is showering or taking a dump in any of the stalls, so I’ll have some good time alone to rewind.

I have to confess I _do_ have a specific goal for my shower tonight. I need to take care of this persistent boner in addition to washing off the day's earlier disappointment. I cannot remember the last time I felt _this_ aroused—if ever—and all Rai did was _kiss_ me. And I kissed him back. How the fuck am I going to negotiate our relationship if I turn to mush from a single kiss?! It’s utterly irritating!

And also, it’s _extremely_ hot. I let my mind wander, after switching on the shower and turning it up as hot as I can stand. Hypnotized under the stream of steamy water, I massage shampoo through my hair and ears, then my tail—deliberately ignoring Little Konoe, despite his insistence on Immediate Attention. I am not going to survive if I start letting him make decisions for me!

While rinsing the shampoo from my fur and the soap from my body, I squirt more shower gel onto my fingers and give my throbbing cock a smooth, gentle stroke. Closing my eyes, I imagine that kiss—that kiss that _really happened_ —like in real life and _not_ in a dream. I can still feel the soft strands of his ridiculous hair brushing my skin. My body remembers what he felt like pressed up against me—muscular and firm, strong and powerful. He felt immovable and permanent—everything I wanted to become when I came here to learn.

Is this envy? Am I jealous of his body and his skills as a fighter? His height and stature—and the attention he gets (a memory of those girls sitting in front of me in the gym, tittering with giggles, sends a surprising burst of annoyance through my chest). Maybe I _am_ a little jealous, but I think I’m more irritated by those girls ogling my soulmate than I am of my soulmate’s good looks and prowess.

When did I get to be like this? I don’t even understand. I was sure I’d have a choice, but it really feels like my body and soul are drawn to Rai, regardless of what my brain wants. I _couldn’t_ have turned down his kiss. I didn’t _want_ to. And if we are soulmates, is any of this _really_ so bad? I just don’t know how to reconcile my beliefs with the experience we shared.

It’s only a few minutes before my body starts to unwind, my tense stomach muscles curling up a little more, and I release into my fist. My ears twitch under the warm water when a soft, mewling fills my ears. Gods, was that _me_? Even alone under the shower, shame floods me. I wasn’t even paying attention if anyone else had come into the bathroom! What if I was heard? _Shit_.

I rinse myself off, ridding myself of the last traces of my passion in the shower, watching it flow down the drain, and imagining all of the day's pressure going along with the water. I don’t remember the last time I came quite so fast. And honestly, I feel relaxed despite my embarrassment, my ears listening carefully for anyone else in the bathroom. My balls are no longer heavy and aching, either.

After turning off the shower, I dry myself off and pull on fresh underwear and pajamas. Relieved after the time alone as well as the gentle afterglow of orgasm, I finish my nighttime routine, careful to brush my teeth and hair, running a brush through my fur. I wonder how long it takes for Rai to care for that hair and fur. It really was so silky. How does he keep it so nice?

 _That’s not conducive to sleep_ , my inner voice chides. Sighing, I gather up my belongings and head back to my room. It’s past eleven now, and our floor is quiet. Entering my room, I’m relieved to see the lights are off. I don’t put anything away—just laying it all on my dresser. I don’t want to wake Tokino, whose breath is soft and gentle from the top bunk. I had no idea how exhausting this day was until I finally fall into bed and snuggle under my covers. I manage to groom my ears and about half my tail before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Surrounded by warmth and comfort, my core melts slowly, dissolving into tingling pleasure. Muscular arms trained for combat wrap around my shoulders as I’m pressed against the trunk of a tree. My fur bristles as the cool night breeze whispers through the canopy of leaves overhead. The pale moon of shadow shines gentle and stubborn, rays like spiderwebs offering their pale, flickering light, providing a soft, romantic illumination of the cat holding me in his arms.

 _My soulmate_. The word echoes in my brain and makes my heart flutter—unlike anything I have ever expected. This cat feels like _home_ —he smells like home and comfort—and even more when he pushes his body up against me. One of his powerful legs slots between mine, his thigh pressing gently into my groin and flooding me with a surge of unbelievable pleasure.

“Konoe.”

His voice is like steel wrapped in silk—the sharpest blade that slices through my disorganized thoughts. Hearing my name in that voice whittles away at my logic and reason, melting into the desire blossoming in my heart.

His subtle, clean scent is brought out even more in response to my soft meow, not quite a protest but certainly not a refusal. His hand touches my throat—long slender fingers caressing me with gentle fingertips, claws barely drawn. His breath is sweet—adding to the concoction of his heady winter forest fragrance. It’s an unusual scent in the early autumn evening air.

Plush lips brush my nose, my cheeks, my blinking eyelids, before meeting my own. A loud, wet purr spills from my throat as my lips are taken, a slender muscular tongue slips inside my mouth and strokes my fangs. His purr vibrates in return—deeper than mine, stronger than my obnoxious rumbling.

“You’re _perfect_ ,” he whispers when he pulls away.

His left hand slips behind my back to the base of my tail, squeezing and fingering through bristled fur. My hands shoot out and pull him close, landing tender caresses on his face, throat, and chest. When his right hand sweeps down my face to my chest, slipping a cool palm under my shirt against the warmth of my belly, I shudder with desire and need. Sweat seeps through my pores, goosebumps trail across my skin following his gentle touch.

But when his hand slips down past my waist and his palm cups my insistent erection, any sense of restraint is shaken loose. Fisting both hands in his silky, silver hair, I let out a demanding growl to encourage him.

_I need this. I want this. I love this. I crave this._

Just the gentle pressure from his palm and then fingers tracing my cock through the fabric of my clothes is enough to shake loose a powerful climax—

And I wake up in bed, sitting straight up, breathing hard and sweating—feeling the warmth of cum flooding against the fabric of my underwear.

_ Damn it. _

It was just a dream. Certainly, this _was_ a dream. A dream unlike _any_ wet dream I can remember from the past—especially considering my activities in the shower just a few hours earlier, I judge, based on the still-dark night sky.

Relaxing in the pleasant glow of the unexpected and sudden release, I lay back against my pillow, resting my hand across my eyes. What is _wrong_ with me? Has the silver cat so filled my mind that I won’t be able to sleep without thinking of him? A mild irritation nags the back of my brain. I don’t feel like this is a logical or wise use of my time, and it annoys me that another person would have so much control over me without even having to be present in the room.

I let out a breath—shuddering and hesitant—before inhaling and exhaling a few more times, trying to relax. Additionally, I grab a few tissues from the nightstand by my bed to clean up the mess in my pants. _Fuck_. This is just embarrassing. I’m not a hormonal kid anymore. I need to get a grip. He’s just a cat—like any other cat—like me—only with an impressive stature and a handsome face. Of course, even when I tell myself it’s no big deal, the details of his defined cheekbones, icy blue eyes framed with long, plush lashes, elegant nose are pictured perfectly in my mind’s eye.

 _You’ve only talked to him_ once _. You’ve only really seen him up close_ once _. He can’t possibly be all that_. My inner voice is doing a noble job of talking my sex-addled brain out of my attraction and back to sleep. _You’ll see. When he meets you tomorrow, you’ll see he’s just a regular cat, if a little taller. You will be fine. You’ve just gotten carried away with stress._

* * *

My alarm goes off at 7:15 am, and I switch it off hurriedly. Tokino will want another few minutes of sleep, as per usual, so I hurry to the bathroom to wash. I’m a little disgusted with the leftovers of that dream from last night—gods, how _embarrassing_. I am still blushing when I get out of my quick shower and dry off, pulling on a casual t-shirt, fresh underwear, and soft gray sweatpants. I’m almost sure I will have to strip out of my clothes for this morning’s appointment, so why not make it easy for myself? A sick dread piles up in my gut at the thought of the clinic.

At least it’s distracting me enough from thinking about Rai for a hot minute. I brush my teeth and comb my hair—I didn’t wash it this morning, so it’s fluffy and dry from last night. I throw on my shoes once back in my room, and Tokino is already out for breakfast. I check the full-length view in the mirror, taking stock of the cat I see there.

 _Not a failure_ , I remind myself. _You’ve done everything you can to get here. It's not over yet_. And I admit, I look good. Not as beautiful as that silver-haired cat I met yesterday—as my eyes are drawn to the mark on my wrist. _Rai_. I sigh softly and then pull on a long-sleeved hoodie meant to cover the mark and keep me from thinking about it.

I’m about fifteen minutes early when I reach the downstairs lobby. I push open the door and freeze in my tracks. Before me, waiting patiently, leaned up against the wall where he kissed me last night, is Rai. He is indeed as gorgeous as he was in my dream—if not even _more_ gorgeous now that I see him under the natural bright moon of light. His lashes are longer than I remember and he looks up at me and smiles. Obvious warmth melts his features—just when I thought he couldn’t look any more attractive.

_Gods, he’s hot._

Blood rushes to my groin and to my ears and cheeks, warming my skin in the pleasant morning air.

“Good morning, kitten,” he purrs in greeting. My heart flops around dangerously in my chest, and arousal close to nausea floods me suddenly. Just the sound of his voice can do that to me.

I shake my head roughly and run my claws through my hair. I need to get out of this—get out of this ridiculous, senseless arousal. There is nothing _magical_ between us. I just think he’s attractive. Hell, _everyone_ thinks he’s attractive. This is perfectly _normal_. I'm normal and I'm okay.

“Good morning,” I return his greeting, looking down at the hands thrust in front of me. He is holding two drinks—they look like coffee and smell delicious.

“I know you said no food, but doesn’t every day start a little better with coffee?” He smiles up at me—and just a tiny flash of shyness flashes across his features. Holy shit—that was so cute! That a cat like him—so powerful, confident, gorgeous, and strong might be shy about offering me a drink! “The left is black coffee. The right is a vanilla latte. I don’t know how you take yours.”

I reach out for the latte, hesitating just a second before taking it. It makes our fingers touch, sending pleasant electric shocks up my arms that melt into my hips—and gods, I’m wearing sweats! _Fuck_ —I’m sure he will notice the suspicious tent in my pants!

“Is it all right if I have the latte?”

“Of course,” Rai murmurs happily. “I’m happy to drink either.”

“You enjoy the taste of black coffee?”

“Yeah. It’s fine. And it does the trick.” His fingers brush mine one last time before he gives me the cup. He watches me carefully, and I flush hard, wondering what he is thinking. Is he assessing me? And then I realize—he’s waiting for me to take a drink. I do, giving a pleased little hum and offering a soft smile of thanks.

He seems pleased with my response and he takes my free hand, pulling me in the direction of the clinic. He deliberately slows his steps. His legs are much longer than mine and his stride follows. But he seems hyper-aware of where my body is in relation to his, modifying his body to meet my needs. It's kind of hot to think about it like that. I quickly shake the thought off.

“You’re a little early,” Rai says casually.

“So are you,” I return—realizing that he must have been quite early if he brought coffee and still arrived before I showed up at 7:30.

“I didn’t want to miss you,” he says, averting his gaze in that cute way. Gods—I need to stop looking. I can’t help it—he’s not just gorgeous, he’s really adorable, too!

We walk slowly to the clinic. I add a few awkward statements about how nice the day is today. He responds by mentioning what a shame it is to have to start it at the clinic and we both laugh softly.

We arrive at the clinic after only a few minutes—probably twenty minutes before my appointment. He stops outside, taking a seat on a bench intended for overflow patients, and I sit down next to him.

“I haven’t had such a weird night in a long time,” he says, in that same casual tone he used when speaking about the weather.

It’s almost as if he _hears_ me blush—because he glances over at me just as heat fills my ears. I look away instantly—unable to hide my ears but able to avert my pink cheeks. Gods—I am _not_ going to have this conversation. There’s no way we know enough about each other to discuss one another’s wet dreams. But I nod in acknowledgment, not knowing what else to say.

“You haunted my dreams last night.” The low whisper is spoken much closer to my ear than I expect—and something warm brushes up against my thigh. I jerk my gaze to the bench, and his thigh is definitely pressed up against mine. He’s wearing slim-fit jeans—which I have been trying hard not to gawk at. But now, I notice not only how shapely his legs look in them, but I cannot miss the bulge at his crotch. At first, I’m slightly confused—because that bulge is way too big for what I think it is. And then I realize that it isn’t. He’s a tall cat after all—and _holy shit!_

“I couldn’t stop thinking about how soft your lips felt,” he whispers. He’s holding his coffee in his right hand, and the left sneaks up onto my leg, fingers spread as he gently grips my thigh.

I tense for a moment—at first thinking I’m nervous, but then realizing that I’m just incredibly flattered he is purposely trying to touch me. Despite my better judgment, I lean toward the warmth on my right, leaning into that muscular body, and I tilt up my chin with my eyelids lowered shyly. I watch with a mix of horror and fascination as my right hand reaches out and touches his chin, cups his cheek.

He wastes no time and lands a kiss on my lips—easily as hot as our first—and I welcome it with a soft purr, which is becoming louder and more embarrassing. The hand on my thigh tightens its grip and moves inward just a minuscule amount. An embarrassing moan leaks out between our lips.

To cover up that sound and hoping to distract him from noticing, I push my lips against his and relax my jaw, welcoming his tongue into my mouth. It’s easily as muscular and lean as the rest of him—and it reminds me of my dream. I moan again when the hand on my thigh moves toward my crotch.

My heart thumps in my ears—loud and crazy like a war drum—and my ears ring. A burst of nervous energy sets off an alarm in my head. Little Konoe can’t take the stress— _if he touches you, you’ll explode!_ My body ignores the warning and I deepen the kiss, letting my tongue skate over his fangs and teeth, enjoying his taste—which oddly doesn’t taste anything like that bitter coffee he has been sipping.

“Hmmm.” A soft, delicious-sounding hum sneaks into my mouth between our lips, and my heart flutters again. That dangerous warning sounds again when his hand moves, and I reach out to rest my left hand on top of his as it gets a little too close for comfort. Something hot and wet suddenly spills against the outside my left thigh, and I bristle with surprise and embarrassment—at first afraid that I actually just came from that soft touch alone. I’m even more ashamed when I notice I’ve instead spilled the hot latte on the bench and it’s covered my left leg and my ass—and it’s _scalding_!

“Oh, shit!” I start to get up, trying to pull the burning fabric away from the tender skin of my ass and leg, my already flushing face deepening to purple, I’m sure. I’m such a fucking klutz!

Rai pulls away instantly, looking down at my leg, and he wastes no time. Leaving his coffee on the bench, he yanks my sweatpants down. _Thank Ribika_ I chose boxer briefs today! They fit snug enough to not come right down along with my sweats.

“Gods, we need to get your skin cooled off! You're burned!” He sounds equally worried and strangely ashamed—as if _he_ was the one who poured coffee all over himself because we were too distracted by making out.

Before I know what’s happened, he's swept me off my feet and rushed me into the clinic's restroom. He sits me on the sink—and turns on the cold water.

“Are you burned? Shit—did I burn you? Are you all right?”

He’s busily pushing my ass into the sink, using his hands to dump cold water against my left leg. I’ve never seen anyone move so fast—and I realize when I look at him that he is _just_ as flustered as I am—if not even more so. He looks so adorably cute!

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I—” His sexy bedroom voice stammers.

I’m trying _so_ hard to restrain myself—but this entire situation is _ridiculous_ —and his mother hen instinct to make sure I’m all right is just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and so unexpected. I raise my hand to my mouth to try to push back the giggles that spill out. My upper body is shaking with laughter and I feel _so_ bad—so idiotic—and yet, I’m so pleased he reacted the same way.

His gorgeous chin jerks up to meet my eyes, looking at my hysterical laughter with confusion and amazement. It’s becoming more and more out of control and I am wheezing hard, trying to get a hold of myself. His expression, at first filled with horror and worry, lets me know that he thought I was crying—perhaps in pain—before it melts into confusion.

“I-i...” I try to speak but I can’t, my giggles turning to loud guffaws. “I’m f-fine,” I stammer. I’m so embarrassed and I feel bad for laughing like this, but his face softens just the same.

“Are you all right then?” His sexy voice sounds so cute when it’s confused! I just love it! “You’re... laughing?”

“Yeah—I-I’m sorry—s-so sorry,” I hiccup. “It was my fault. I just spilled my coffee. I'm so fucking awkward!”

He bends down to get a better look at my leg—and I realize now that I am sitting in a sink, in my underwear soaking with cold water. I'm suddenly worried he will pull down my boxers to check the skin underneath!

“Your skin is a little red. You’re not burned?”

“I’m fine. My skin is just sensitive like that,” I explain, now able to talk in full sentences, though they are still interspersed with giggles. I also grab the waistband of my underwear protectively to discourage any further examination. Rai politely gives me a few moments to collect myself. Once I do, my face still flushed with embarrassment, I open my mouth. “I’m sorry. That was like... probably _the_ most awkward thing I’ve ever done.”

Rai laughs—and the sound is shockingly gorgeous. It rings out like a clear bell, the soft echoes of his voice resonate deep inside my ears and my heart. And it starts me off on a fresh fit of giggles.

Fingers wipe at the tears on my face as I wheeze a few more times, struggling to get enough breath and calm down.

“Sorry,” I whisper again, my body weirdly relaxed and soft when he pulls my chest against his. He chuckles low, vibrating me gently—and I resist yet another wave of giddy laughter.

“I should have been paying attention. I just... I just kinda lose it when you’re so close,” he whispers into my ears.

“Me, too,” I confess, shocked at his admission.

Gentle fingers caress my ears and my hair, then my chin is brushed gently. I’m sitting so close to Rai—still on the sink, still wet and uncomfortable, still with my pants around my ankles. But I lean in further and kiss him again anyway. This time—his body responds even more, grinding his hips against mine, and my back arches, as though it longs for more touch.

I gasp with pleasure and desire, wanting more—and I realize _exactly_ how frighteningly close I am to climax. I need to back off. I've already dumped a full latte on my pants. I'm sitting exposed in my underwear in the bathroom. The last thing I need is a desperate, premature ejaculation on top of all of this! I stiffen my body and pull away from his mouth.

“Sorry,” I repeat.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he asserts. His pupils are blown wide and dark—and his fur bristles. His tail looks so thick and plush—and I foolishly reach out and comb my fingers through the fur. He shudders against me, pulling me in close for another deep kiss.

“Wait,” I protest softly against his mouth. “Hang on a second...” I am panting now, so close to the point of no return—and he hasn’t even _touched_ my dick! (I try not to think about the two orgasms I have had within the last ten hours.) Gods—he is so fucking sexy and cute it’s going to _kill_ me. “I just need to breathe.”

He pulls my head against his chest, rubbing my ears but not pushing up against my groin. He feels utterly relaxing and safe—and I almost forget we’re in the clinic. A steady heartbeat, slowing down from a flutter as fast as mine, fills my ears. It’s so soothing.

“So I guess sexual compatibility isn’t going to be a problem.”

My ears perk up and bristle at the statement, but he doesn’t let go.

“Are you going to be okay? Want me to go back and get you some fresh clothes?”

I shake my head, still embarrassed, but pushing my nose against his chest, inhaling his wonderful scent.

“I’ll probably just have to take them off in a minute anyway,” I murmur. I mean my clinic appointment and realize it sounds a little dirtier than that.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you?”

When I look up at his face, something strange flickers in his eyes. They are sparkling—still fully dilated with a thin ring of blue at the edges—with mischief.

“You just want to see me naked,” I say confidently—and my boldness shocks even me.

“Well, of course?” Rai chuckles. “I think you wouldn’t mind, either.”

“Gods,” I huff. I’m _not_ ready for all this yet. And I don’t have a chance to explore any of these feelings when my phone alarm blares. It’s an alert for the clinic appointment, and it scares the living shit out of me, making me puff up and jump off the sink—right into Rai’s arms.

I don’t know if he is more startled by the alarm or my sudden motion, but he gently caresses my shoulder and back, letting me sink to the floor and get to my feet. He also helpfully pulls up my sweats, snapping the waist band unnecessarily—and sending a fresh burst of arousal into my hips.

I can’t suppress the gasp of excitement when his hand is so close to my cock—and I look down in embarrassment for my lewd display.

“Gods, you really are sensitive, aren’t you.”

It’s not exactly a question—more of a statement—but he certainly doesn’t sound disappointed. And his voice stiffens my cock even more and obviously under my damp sweats.

“We’d better get you checked in,” Rai purrs, licking the tip of my ear and straightening the hem of my shirt. I let him lead me back into the lobby and to the reception desk—where he checks in for me.

“Konoe—here for a follow-up visit this morning at eight,” he says briskly. The woman behind the desk is obviously checking him out. I can’t blame her—he’s fucking _hot_ —and I’m a little surprised when the base of my ears and my nape heat up with anger. Am I jealous? That someone else has noticed how beautiful my soulmate is?

And gods! When did I start thinking of him as _my_ soulmate?? I do my best to suppress a frustrated groan and take a seat in the waiting area.

“I’ll wait with you,” Rai says, deliberately resting his hand on my thigh. _Again_. My skin crawls with anticipation and that weird excitement floods Little Konoe with a bit too much enthusiasm. “Are you sure you don’t want a fresh pair of pants?”

Oh, he has no _idea!_ If I have to wait for more than two minutes, I will need a fresh pair of _underwear_ as well as clean sweats! I can’t really pull away, though—and I revel in the feeling of his breath and nose at the seam of my shoulder and neck.


	4. Dr. Arbitro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit! Two updates in a day!
> 
> Konoe has his doctor’s visit. Arbitro is involved and all his triggers along with him. To be clear: medical horror, non-con drug use, non-con hand job, bad science, fear and angst.

“You heard me.”

That annoying voice belongs to Dr. Arbitro—and I find myself wondering once again if he is actually the legitimate medical doctor he claims to be. He’s standing in front of me with two small containers intended for samples.

“From the look of your current state of arousal, we should take advantage and collect the semen sample first.”

I reluctantly take the containers from him, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment, but he doesn’t let go, making our fingers touch and sending a shudder of revulsion down my spine.

“You misunderstand, little one.” How can he get away with calling me names of endearment? It pisses me off! “I need to be present for the collection.”

“What?” I swallow, trying to do something about my dry mouth and nervousness. He can’t mean he wants to watch me jerk off?! And take a piss?

“You heard me,” he repeats. “You’re not very obedient. That will have to change, given the results of your latest labs. I wonder if I will have to resort to extreme measures today.”

“You want to watch me take a piss?” I deliberately avoid mentioning the fact that this pervert wants to be present for a semen collection, too. Why does he even need that?!

“I don’t, really—but I do need to see that the urine sample is indeed your own. I don’t mind being present or assisting with the other sample, of course.” A disconcerting, benevolent smile lifts the corners of his lips.

“This isn’t right,” I protest. “You’re violating my right to privacy.”

“You gave it up when you consented to treatment.”

“I never consented to treatment!”

“Oh, you did. When you enrolled in school and paid your fees. You should have read the fine print a little more carefully, kitten. You gave us full access to your person and it turns out you're the perfect research subject.” He flashes his teeth at me in a creepy smile and straightens his fuchsia feather boa. What kind of doctor wears a feather boa, for Ribika’s sake?! “Nothing like learning from experience when it comes to today’s youth.”

The doctor stands in front of me, wearing a white lab coat over white slacks. Underneath, a chartreuse dress shirt and a bright red tie make up the rest of his garish outfit. His long blonde hair is obviously dyed—and he’s wearing a freaky mask over his eyes. It makes it hard to read his emotions. When I don’t make any moves to obey right away, he sighs.

“Start by taking off your clothes. I’ll need to examine you as well.”

Hesitating, I comply by stripping off my hoodie and shirt, staying seated on the exam table. I fold up my clothes neatly, keeping my eye on the doctor while I look for a place to put my clothes. I worry about the restraints I noticed when I first entered the room—ominous leather cuffs for wrists and ankles are attached to the bottom of the table. I don’t have a lot of experience with doctors, but I’m pretty sure they don’t usually physically restrain their patients.

“Is there a, um, a gown I can wear?”

“You don’t need a gown. At least, not for this part of the exam.” The doctor is unmistakably staring at my chest—appraising me in a way that feels inappropriate and uncomfortable. His arms are folded across his chest and he is impatiently tapping his foot. Then, a sharp breath escapes his lips. “What’s this, then?”

I look where he is gesturing, and he approaches the table. He’s looking at the mark on my wrist.

“It’s new since your last visit.”

I nod. I am not going to discuss it.

“Interesting. It’s on your right hand. Aren’t you right-handed?”

“I am. Why?"

“Well, the favored hand is typically where _females_ get their mark. That would mean...” His voice trails off and he doesn’t continue, only chuckles lightly. “Hmph. I should just let you discover things on your own, especially if you don’t know. Things are making a lot of sense now.” My wrist is grabbed and the doctor looks at it, licking his lips. “ _Rai_ , huh. Wait—not the silver-haired level three, is it? Ah—that was the hottie in the waiting room!”

I purse my lips and avert my eyes, hoping to escape his gaze.

“Really!? This is just wonderful. You will both be helpful for my research. You haven’t consummated the bond yet, have you? You still smell quite virginal.”

What the hell is that even supposed to mean? How can a cat _smell_ virginal? And consummating—and thinking that word along with the image of the gorgeous silver cat is definitely not helping the amount of blood pooling in my groin. What is this quack researching here? And what do my test results have to do with _any_ of this?!

“I was told my labs disqualified me from the Touga entrance exam.”

“They did,” the creepy doctor confirms, and he finally releases my wrist. “You will go to a meeting with your advisor after I’m done with you. He will inform you of your new course schedule."

“I’ve never heard of being disqualified for the physical exam before. Am I ill?”

“Not at all, sweet kitten. But you’re certainly an anomaly. We’ve been looking for someone like you for a long time.”

“What do you mean? Someone like me?”

“I don’t see why I should have to tell you anything when you won’t even comply with my basic instructions. I told you to take off your clothes.”

“I asked for a gown,” I remind him.

“A gown won’t help collect your labs, nor will it be necessary for the exam. You’re well on your way, as I can clearly see, what with all the fooling around in the bathroom and waiting room.”

How the hell does he even know about that? I’m horrified, and a sickening feeling fills my gut. Are there cameras in the bathrooms? What the hell?!

“You won’t comply?” He persists.

“I will—I just would prefer to save some dignity, if that’s at _all_ possible,” I reply, unable to keep the sarcastic tone from my voice.

“We can do it the hard way if you prefer. I don’t mind at all.” I suddenly feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. Perhaps I shouldn’t have resisted so much to start—at least not while the “doctor” is standing so close to me.

With those words, the doctor takes two steps forward and injects my arm with a syringe he’s pulled from his coat pocket. The medicine burns when it enters my bloodstream.

“This should make things easier for you.”

It only takes a minute before whatever drug he’s injected me with takes effect. My consciousness slowly slides from my body—but not all the way. I’m still clearly aware of my surroundings, but my limbs are heavy and weigh me down. I’m still protesting when the doctor guides my body back against the table.

“Relax, kitten. This shouldn’t be painful at all.”

I open my mouth and try to speak—considering screaming for help—and I can’t. It feels like something heavy is sitting on top of my chest and compressing it. I struggle to breathe.

“Now, let’s make this a little more pleasant for you, too. You look eager enough but this will keep you more biddable during the exam.” 

As I lie back on the table, the doctor finds a vein on the inside of my elbow. He digs around with a fresh syringe before sinking it into my arm. A strange taste fills my mouth—something metallic that isn’t blood—and I lick my lips uncomfortably. Right after that taste, the sinking feeling changes into something hotter. The blood in my body starts to rush around, my heart pumping for all it’s worth, and my ears ring.

“What...?” It comes out as a whisper.

“There, there. Just relax and let it take over for you. This will make the first collection much more pleasant.”

The waistband of my sweats are grabbed and pulled off, and my sneakers come right off as well. My underwear follows suit, and I hear the doctor give a little giggle.

“I thought as much. Can’t _resist_ the pull of your soulmate, can you, kitten? I hear the sexual compatibility takes _many_ people by surprise. And I bet no one was more surprised to meet that handsome cat than you were. Lucky for you, I am here to relieve some of your tension.”

He can’t possibly mean what I think he does, but the rough groping of my body proves otherwise. He doesn’t bother making me comfortable or giving me even a minute to collect myself. His hand wraps around my erection, his fingers circling my cock and giving the base a gentle squeeze. Revulsion such as I have never felt piles up in my stomach, and I’m sure I’m going to be sick.

“Please—don’t...”

“Close your eyes, kitten,” Arbitro purrs softly, sweeping his free hand across my eyes and making them closed. “Close your eyes and just imagine it’s _Rai_ touching you like this.”

I won’t do that. How dare he even mention my soulmate so casually?! My private fantasies are precisely that—mine and mine alone. Having him suggest anything else is a horrible intrusion. I feel violated by his unwanted groping, and I try to pull my body away. Of course, I can’t control any movement—I can’t even move my fingers or toes. Even my tail droops between my legs and my ears sag.

“I think we will stick to a basic, simple collection for now,” the doctor whispers, sending shudders of revulsion through my system. “Especially if you haven’t consummated your bond yet. The whole _world_ is about to change for you—open up around you like a flower, showing you pleasures you’ve never known.”

“You—can’t—do this,” I huff, struggling to get even those four words out of my mouth. To my horror, a vulgar-sounding moan spills from my lips as well. Whatever drugs he’s given me have heightened my sexual response. I can’t resist the touch and my body continues to respond. Weirdly, an image of Rai sparks in my mind—making even more blood surge to my lower half.

“You’re already so close, kitten. I’m sure you’ll have to learn a little self-control to please that silver cat of yours. Hang tight a second.” He pulls something that looks like a condom out of his pocket and tears the package with his teeth. “This will assist with my collection.”

I protest again—with a tiny whimper—as the condom is stretched across the head of my dick and rolled down. Another whine escapes when the doctor resumes stroking my shaft. He’s giving encouraging little phrases—like, “That’s it,” “Just relax and let it come,” “There you go.” It’s _utterly_ disgusting.

It’s only because of whatever medication he’s given me (and I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that the silver cat and his pale blue eyes flash over and over in my mind) that I manage to come so quickly—filling the condom with cum and nearly lifting my hips from the table. I can’t look at him—I’m extremely ashamed. My ears burn with the echoes of my pleasured cry. I hope no one heard me—and gods—what if there are cameras in here? I can’t ever remember feeling so embarrassed—and this is even after spilling that latte in my excitement over making out with Rai not half an hour ago.

“Isn’t that much better?” Arbitro murmurs. “You’re lovely when you let go. I’d like to see you like that for the rest of the appointment, as we have more tests to run. You’re so sensitive, too. Look at that—ready to go again already? Well. I’ll have to fix that. I need a urine sample, and we can’t have you aroused.”

My vision hazes over and my ears feel stuffed with cotton—and I feel my consciousness slip through my fingers. Even the nausea fades as my eyesight dims. I pass out while on the table and remember nothing else from the appointment.

* * *

“Oy.”

A gentle, deep voice rumbles pleasantly in my ears. I purr reflexively when I hear it. I _love_ it—but I’m sleepy and don’t want to wake.

“Konoe, wake up.”

The voice speaks again—and oh my gods, when he says my name a fresh burst of arousal floods my lower body. I blink slowly—opening my eyes and finding my vision fuzzy and unclear—but I barely make out a gorgeous pair of pale blue eyes and a lot of white fur and hair right in front of me.

“Kitten. We need to get you out of here.”

“What? Where am I?” I manage. My voice sounds like I haven’t had anything to drink in a week. And the moment the question leaves my lips, the memories come flooding back to me. Staring up at the ceiling, I see the same fluorescent lights above me, and I know I’m lying on that exam table. I start to panic—remembering the shame of what happened earlier—running my hands down my chest to check if I’m wearing clothes. I’m relieved when I feel a soft tee-shirt under my fingers.

“Let me help you. Here, lift your hips.”

That’s a weird thing to say—but then I feel my sweats sliding up my legs—and I blush furiously when I realize I was dressed only in my underwear—and I can hardly move. Tears burn my eyes—and then spill—when I get a closer look at the gorgeous cat helping me. It’s Rai, my soulmate, a look of extreme worry on his face. His fingers reach out and brush my cheek.

“It’s all right. It’s over now. Let me help you with your shoes.”

I let him pull on my sneakers and then lean into him heavily when my body won’t support itself. 

“Fuck the jacket,” he says, irritatedly. “You’ve been in here for hours. And it’s warm outside. Let’s get the fuck out of here so you can rest.”

“But my counseling appointment,” I say, my voice still soft and scratchy. My stomach lurches uncomfortably when Rai lifts me in his arms, draping my hoodie in my lap, as he carries me bridal style from the exam room.

“What the fuck did they do to you.” It’s more a statement of anger and aggression than a question. “You need to rest until you can walk on your own. And you need something to eat.”

I’m deftly carried out of the clinic—at least, as far as I can see—but I don’t recognize where we are headed. We seem to be heading to the student apartments, not the dorm.

“But...”

“Don’t talk. Just rest. Gods, I _knew_ I should have gone back there with you,” Rai says, and he’s angry. I can’t tell if I’ve done something wrong—but I’ve never really heard him angry. My ears lower in shame, and I feel utterly helpless.

“No,” he says, kissing the tip of one of my ears. “You’re fine. You’re _perfect_. It was my mistake—and that damned doctor. You saw Arbitro, didn’t you?”

I nod.

“All right. You’re all right now. Just rest.”

In a few minutes—it is either a quick walk or else I went to sleep in his arms—Rai pushes open the door to his studio apartment. It’s much nicer than my dorm room—and he lives alone, it seems. I’m set down gently on one of the biggest beds I’ve ever seen, and I immediately relax into the pillow. The bedding is soft and it smells like Rai’s hair. I can’t help it—I push my nose into his pillow and inhale deeply, only stopping when I hear his soft chuckle.

“Let’s take off your shoes,” he suggests and simply pulls them off without further ado. “Where’s your key? I'll fetch you some fresh sweats. You can’t be comfortable.”

He strips off my sweats in one single pull, making all my fur bristle. And weirdly, my purr gets even louder when he undresses me. I should be _terrified_ —being stripped on a bed belonging to a cat who is much larger than me, against whom I could never defend myself. But my brain isn’t functioning and instead, I _want_ to be here. 

To my disappointment, however, my body is tucked under the covers, and Rai strokes my ears and hair gently.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, caressing my cheek again. “You’re just fine. You need to sleep off whatever they gave you. I’ll be back before you wake.”

He brushes his fingers over my eyelids again, sweeping them closed. It feels so good. I struggle to sit up, though, when his solid weight leaves the bed.

“Wait—”

He leans down and pets my ears again.

“It’s okay. No one will bother you here. You’re _safe_ here.”

“But I have to see my—” I interrupt myself with a gaping yawn.

“Hush. You’re fine. The appointment with your counselor can wait till you can function. Just sleep, kitten. I’ll be back with fresh clothes and food. We’ll get you a shower, too. I’m sure they know you won’t be showing up after whatever the hell that was.”

He waits a few minutes, his fingers carding through my hair and the soft fur on my ears.

“Your fur is so unbelievably soft,” he murmurs. It’s the last thing I hear before drifting off to sleep.


	5. Meeting Little Konoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe wakes in Rai’s apartment when Rai returns with food. Konoe attempts to explain his reticence about soulmates to the silver cat, who is quite possibly confused by the disparity between his words and his body’s actions.
> 
> This chapter contains some embarrassing, cringe-worthy sex stuff. Reader, beware. And you’re welcome.

The sound of a door opening brings me to my senses. I wake up and look around—confused because I’ve drifted off to sleep again and don’t recognize the apartment. How did I get here? It sure smells nice in here, though.

Then, when Rai shuffles in and drops a paper bag on the small dining table, all my memories from this morning come flooding back in an overwhelming tidal wave. While I’m pleased to see Rai, laying eyes on him reminds me of how Arbitro told me to imagine him while he... Oh, _fuck_!

“Oh, shit,” the words slip out of my mouth, and tears burn my eyes. I still feel the doctor’s disgusting hands on my body—all over my skin and on my... “Shit, shit, shit!”

I’m going to be sick! I haul myself up out of Rai’s bed in a hurry. I cannot imagine the kind of impression I'd make as a soulmate if I threw up in his bed. Rai rushes over to me and I flinch, unwilling to let him touch me, but he ignores me. He guides me toward his bathroom—thank Ribika he has a _private_ (and oddly clean) bathroom! I rush to the toilet and heave up the little bit of latte I drank this morning.

The latte I drank before spilling it all over myself. While making out with that cat. Who is my _soulmate_. And oh, my gods! My mind turns over at hyper speed. The doctor knows Rai is my soulmate! And he mentioned something about the pair of us being excellent research specimens! How could I have put him in danger and risked his career like that? I’m utterly disgusted with myself, and I continue violently heaving, even after my stomach is empty.

“Are you all right? It's okay. You're safe here. No one is going to hurt you.” Rai's claws card through my hair gently, even as I’m hanging inelegantly over the toilet. 

“It was, um...” My voice echoes strangely in the toilet once I can speak. I cannot help being distracted by the gentle touch of his fingers. “I’m just... ugh. I’m sorry.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Rai’s voice increases in intensity—he sounds worried rather than upset, though, and that only makes me feel worse.

“I can’t...” How can he even bare to touch me? I feel so used and filthy.

“Shh, it’s all right. Here.” Rai pushes a glass of water into my hands. I rinse my mouth and spit into the toilet, then take a sip. He helps me to my feet and hands me my toothbrush already prepared with toothpaste. He brought my toothbrush? He’s either incredibly thoughtful or ridiculously hopeful that I will be spending the night. “Better?”

I nod, brushing my teeth.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

I freeze, but my chin is nudged. I look up, feeling the soft electric static of Rai’s fingers on my skin. Gods, is his touch always going to feel like that? It’s utterly tempting.

“It’s all right. He gave you something, didn’t he? Drugged you?”

I nod, slowly, dropping my gaze.

“Come on. We can talk about it later. Let me help you.”

He picks me up in his arms—I feel way too much like a fairytale princess—but I can’t help it. Once in his arms, I lean my face against his chest, basking in his scent, utterly exhausted, and my eyes burn. I suddenly feel like I need a shower. I’m afraid to tell Rai what happened—especially now that crazy doctor has eyes for him as well. What have I done?

“I need a shower,” I whisper. I want to wash the horrors of the morning down the drain.

“You need food and water first,” Rai orders quietly, pushing his nose to my ear. How can even want to touch me after what the doctor has done to me?! He _must_ be able to smell him on me. Yet, his touch feels so nice and soothing—and more, my body responds, curling around him, my tail looping over his, pressing my face against him.

I am placed gently on the couch—and I realize now I’m dressed only in my underwear. I barely remember Rai stripping of my sweats and tee-shirt earlier. I shiver slightly—but it has nothing to do with temperature. I bite my bottom lip and look down.

Then, Rai starts pulling containers of food out of the bag. 

“I figured it would be better just to grab a bunch of different things. I don’t know what you like to eat, so I got a selection.”

I see fried chicken and potatoes and corn, stir-fried veggies with rice, a sandwich, a salad—all sorts of food. He must have rushed to the cafeteria to pick up these items before they stopped serving lunch. And then, the meaning of his words sink in. He _doesn’t_ know my preferences. Could it be possible that he was being truthful about wanting to get to know me? Maybe I don’t need to worry so much about being rushed into bed.

I peer up at his face while pulling my legs up underneath me on the couch. Rai sits down next to me—close enough so the heat from his thigh warms my skin. I sigh softly.

“I should have gone in with you. I’m sorry,” he murmurs into my ear.

I shake my head. “I asked you not to. I didn’t know. Thanks for bringing me home—er, back to your apartment.” I shudder again—mostly from him being so close to me.

“Ah. Let me get you a blanket.”

I don’t mind sitting in my underwear, but I have a feeling covering me up is more for his sake than my own—and the thought makes me start. Why would I _want_ him to see me in my underwear? Especially when _I’m_ the one worried about being rushed into a physical relationship? I feel a little like a hypocrite or a terrible flirt.

“Eat something first, and then you can take a shower. Then, I will take you to the counseling center.”

“You sure like ordering me around,” I say, unable to keep a certain sass out of my voice. I pick up the sandwich and start taking small bites as a soft, fuzzy blanket is wrapped around my shoulders.

“You must not mind it so much,” he says, watching me take a bite just as he ordered. Ugh. I think he might be right! I can’t think of a response, and my stomach feels better once I get some food and liquid in it. So I just keep eating.

Rai squeezes my shoulders through the blanket—and he reluctantly pulls away. For now, he just watches me eat.

“I can’t possibly eat all of this. You should have something, too.”

He nods, just a slight motion of his head, and picks up a carton from the table and a fork. Instead of eating, though, I feel his eyes resting on me.

“What?”

“Oh—um. Later. Now is not the time.”

“For what?” I ask.

“Just eat.”

“There you go again. Telling me what to do, expecting me to obey.”

“You _really_ don’t seem to dislike it,” Rai points out, finally digging into the stir-fry.

My fur fluffs out at the implication and I glare over—well, _up_ —at the silver cat. He is still watching me—even as he takes delicate bites from his fork. His eyes are sparkling again—he has such gorgeous blue eyes and the corners of his mouth are arranged in a smirk.

I can’t help myself, either. I have to watch him eat so I stop shoveling food into my mouth for a moment.

“Your sandwich,” Rai purrs after a few moments, nodding his chin and then suddenly reaching toward me. 

On reflex, I lean in to meet him and kiss his lips. It takes both of us by surprise—I was honestly not planning to kiss him. It feels like my body moved of its own accord and it wants to be close to the silver cat. Rai drops his fork—and thankfully not the carton of food in his other hand. The clatter on the floor shocks me out of the kiss, and I pull away, cheeks flushed.

“Sorry,” I murmur, unable to look at him.

“No need to apologize for that. _Ever_.” His voice is slightly strained.

I meet his gaze again.

“Um, look. Rai, I think we need to talk.”

“We can talk and eat. Go ahead.”

“This is _serious_.”

“I always take you seriously.” His tone is so dry that I can’t help feeling a little indignant. He’s teasing me again.

“I’m serious,” I repeat. He just smiles at me, nodding at me to continue. “So... about this, um, 'soulmate' thing.”

His eyebrows lift curiously as if he can hear the air quotes around "soulmate."

“I just... well. My mom was a single mom. My father was her soulmate. He left us before I was born. As a result, um, I guess I don’t believe in soulmates.”

“I see,” he says—and the corners of his lips quirk up a little.

“I mean it. I just—um, I want to be able to make my own choices. I’m only eighteen. That’s much too young to commit to someone for the rest of my life.”

Rai just nods, his gorgeous silver hair fluttering around his shoulders. Gods, he’s beautiful. I am ashamed to find myself licking my lips and wanting to kiss him again. I don’t even notice till that smirk of his widens a little.

“That’s all right. You don’t have to believe in anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean—I can tell you feel _something_. I wonder if it’s the same thing I feel for you. Even just being in the same room as you—your scent, the sight of you, the sound of your voice—all I want to do is be close to you. _Touch_ you...”

“Now, see, _that’s_ the problem.”

“A problem? Why is it a problem? It’s a sign of compatibility and of our affinity.”

I sigh in exasperation.

“I’m just not ready for a physical relationship.”

Rai cocks his head to the side.

“You aren’t?”

I shake my head.

“No.”

After a soft hum from Rai, there is a longer but comfortable pause between us, so I take the opportunity to take a sip of the soda he brought me. It’s called Coke—and it’s in a glass bottle. I’ve had canned cola before, but never in a glass bottle. This tastes more sparkly and spicy. I read the label and see that it is sweetened with real sugar instead of corn syrup. I wonder if that is the difference. It's delicious.

It’s still quiet so I return my gaze to Rai—who is staring at me— _leering_ would probably be the more accurate term. And then I realize my body is behaving strangely. I have been tonguing the bottle opening and have wrapped my lips around it in a startlingly lewd fashion.

“So. This,” Rai waves his hand at me and the bottle, “this is _what_? You teasing me?”

“I’m not— _gods_.” I let out another exasperated sigh and clink the bottle back down on the table, trying not to be embarrassed. What am I doing? What the hell was I thinking? “The soda—I’ve never had this kind before. It’s better than from a fountain or a can.”

“It certainly is. And I rather enjoy watching you drink from a bottle.”

“Shut up,” I say. That is uncalled for. “I didn’t mean it like that...”

“Perhaps not. But it’s as if your body knows mine is its mate.”

“Your _mate_?!” I bristle.

“Yes. Your soulmate.” Rai holds out his left wrist for me to examine. It’s my name in elegant script. Something in my heart flutters to see my name inscribed permanently on that pale skin.

“Perhaps. But I’m not about to just jump into your bed.”

“You’ve already _been_ in my bed most of the afternoon,” he points out helpfully.

I click my tongue and roll my eyes.

“That wasn’t—ugh. That wasn't what I meant! I was tired!”

“I’m teasing,” Rai says, kindly brushing his fingers over my arm. I am suddenly very aware of how little I am wearing. “I’m not going to push you into anything before you’re ready.”

“Good. Because I’m _not_ ready.”

“I understand.”

“I’m serious!” I insist, glaring at him again.

“I know. And I told you I _always_ take you seriously. I understand consent. No means no.” His voice has that flat tone again, but his eyebrows are quirked up in amusement. 

“As long as you know I’m serious,” I mutter, taking another sneaky sip of the sweet soda, careful with how I shape my lips around the bottle’s neck. I put it back down on the table and I sense him moving. He has put his carton of food down.

Then—I am not quite sure what happens—a soft whiff of his cool, clean, forest fragrance floods my nose. And my ears are filled with his low rumbling purr. It feels so nice—and makes my purr vibrate in my chest in response. He makes me feel so good. I’m not even thinking about it, but before I know it, my hands are fisted in his hair and my lips are crushing his.

He tastes so nice—so sweet—and his tongue invades my mouth. A small sound of surprise spills between our lips, and I don’t know if it was him or me. And suddenly, we are lying down on his couch—me pinning him down with my body. He’s dressed, of course—but his hands wrap around me, caressing my back and my tail, touching my skin freely. 

Soon, I am humming and purring and mewling in desperation, as my hips grind down against his.

“I thought you didn’t want to jump into bed right away,” he purrs against my lips, and I feel rather than see his mouth curling in a smile.

“We are on the _couch_ ,” I clarify angrily, and I kiss him again just to shut him up. He hums in appreciation—and his voice sounds so nice in my ears. I hardly know what to do with myself.

The hand on my back skates around my side—the soft touch should tickle and it really doesn’t—toward the front of my body, skimming the waistband of my boxers. A loud, helpless meow eludes my attempts to be quiet, and my entire body gives a sudden jolt, as though struck by lightning.

To my shock—a loud sound permeates the room and bright light fills the space between us. It’s warm, too—my skin and flesh are vibrating and a pretty melody pours from my body. This hasn’t happened before—and I’m so distracted by the sound and light and Rai’s hands touching me that I hardly have a chance to control myself.

Little Konoe is _more_ than excited, poking his head up as far as he can go, pressing insistently against the elastic of my underwear. When Rai’s large fingers trace the outline of my erection, another loud mewling noise leaks out of my mouth. And to my utter horror, that is not the _only_ thing that flows out of me.

The song, the light, the incessant, desperate keening all combine when pleasure overflows from my body. He hasn’t even touched me directly—and I feel a warm liquid soaking through my underwear. 

“Oh, _gods_...” My exclamation is a combination of utter bliss and utter mortification. I cannot _believe_ this is happening—and I find myself hoping all of this is just a dream. But it isn’t, I realize, when the warm moisture starts to cool. My skin is sticky and I quickly roll off of Rai and the couch, my entire body flushed with embarrassment as I hit the floor hard. To top off the humiliating scene, I carelessly knock my head against the coffee table. “Shit—ouch.”

Rai sits up—watching me with an indescribable dark look in his eyes. He watches the light—changed from a bright burst into slim, spiderweb-like tendrils, creeping through the air and surrounding him—physically touching him so his hair and fur moves. His ears are perked up toward me and he is staring at me predatorily, trying to catch his breath.

“Oh my _gods_ ,” I groan, covering my face in shame as I struggle to breathe. “I cannot believe I did that!”

“Well, if this is you taking our physical relationship slowly, I can certainly live with that. You really had me worried earlier.”

I peek at the silver cat through my fingers, and he is _grinning_ at me. I sit up and stare him down—trying to discern his expression. Is he making fun of me? Or is he honestly pleased? I’m a bit distracted by the state of my underwear, however.

“I knew there wasn't any problem with physical compatibility—but I had _no_ idea,” he states boldly. I can only groan in shame. “That was _incredible_.”

“What?” I’m too shocked and embarrassed to keep my mouth shut.

“You—you are so _hot_. And you don’t even realize it! And what was that song? And the light? I’ve never felt anything like that!”

It isn’t as though I’m _not_ accustomed to embarrassing myself wherever I go; I _have_ felt like this before. Just... not quite to this degree. I cover my face with both hands while waiting for the function in my legs to return. If I were wearing something other than cum-soaked underwear, I would run out of here into the woods never to be seen again.

Then—the silver cat surprises me once more. He drops down from the couch, his hips weighing heavy on my legs, arms caging me in. He brushes a few tears (again, tears of pleasure and shame) from my eyes and kisses me—long and hard and heavy. I can’t help purring in response and I struggle to keep from arching into his muscular, perfect body. I hesitate because I don't want to squish my damp underwear against him.

“I think I love you,” he whispers, once he pulls away. “Good thing I brought you a _full_ change of clothes,” he adds brightly.

He stands up and pulls me to my feet, wrapping me in his arms.

“Let’s get you showered and changed,” he orders. I nod, unable to disobey or even be annoyed by the command. But my skin is buzzing with warm pleasure and satisfaction—and I enjoy the tender touch so much, I have to fight back tears.


	6. The Guidance Counselor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai accompanies Konoe to his counseling appointment. Konoe learns more about his abnormal lab work and is disappointed with his new class schedule.
> 
> Trigger warning: Well, Virus makes an appearance in this one. He’s intimidating but not horrible.

After a long shower, I feel more like myself. I’m still incredibly embarrassed about Rai's first encounter with Little Konoe. I don’t have much sexual experience, but I’ve never gotten so turned on so fast that I came from a single touch. That can’t be an attractive quality in a soulmate. And why am I worried about it? I don’t even _believe_ in soulmates! I have no idea what to do from here.

Rai is waiting for me once I’m dressed. He brought me a full change of clothes, and I cringe as I bury the underwear I was wearing earlier under the coffee-stained sweats. Ugh. I can’t _believe_ it.

“Are you ready?” He asks. His eyes look different than they did earlier. There’s something eager in them, which is an awfully attractive look, I have to confess. Then he said those words earlier. He thinks he _loves_ me.

I’m sure he was teasing—or trying to make me feel better, at least. That’s what I choose to believe, at least for now. Then I notice Rai has his boots on.

“Ready for what?”

“You have an appointment with your career counselor. I thought I’d tag along.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” I mutter as I step into my shoes. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”

“There's _nothing_ more important than getting to know my soulmate,” Rai murmurs, sending a tingling sensation through my body as he brushes the tips of my ears. “Let’s go.”

I follow him out of the apartment and downstairs. Once we’re outside, he boldly takes my hand and rests it on his elbow. It’s romantic and makes my heart flutter and my ears blush. My cheeks flood with heat when the humiliation of the encounter on the couch overtakes me like a tidal wave.

“I meant what I said earlier,” I say.

“Oh?”

“About not being ready for a physical relationship.”

Rai doesn’t say anything, which I find highly suspicious. So I look up at his face, and he’s wearing a self-satisfied smirk, returning my gaze confidently. I look away quickly, worried that I will fall for that little smirk and do something else embarrassing.

“What?” I ask.

“I didn't say anything. I _believe_ you.”

I grunt a little—letting my irritation show.

“ _You_ kissed _me_ , is all,” Rai clarifies.

“I know that! I don’t know why that happened or how that happened!”

“And then, when I _barely_ touched you, you—”

“Shut up!” I burst. “Please—just don’t say anymore! I was there, I know what happened. And I’m sorry.”

“I already told you not to apologize for things like that.”

“But I’m not ready for a physical relationship.”

Rai stops walking for a moment. We have just passed in between two buildings. He backs me up against a wall, guiding me with his arms but not touching me, making all my fur bristle.

“I understand and I _respect_ your decision,” he whispers, hovering right in front of me, delight and desire sparking in his eyes. “I also respect that you have the right to change your mind at any time. I want you to know that’s all right with me—and I will stop _anytime_ you ask me to stop. If you like, I will wait for you to make the first move and I will get your consent if I ever get the chance to instigate a kiss.”

I nod, unable to speak. I’m afraid of saying anything weird and my mind is a complete mess. And what does he mean, getting a chance to instigate a kiss?! I’m irritated by the phrasing. It implies that I’m the excessively horny, touchy one! To my utter distraction, Rai smells good—tempting and sweet—and I want nothing more than to pull my fingers through that silky hair and...

Oh, my gods—my hands are reaching up of their own accord and tugging his hair, pulling his face down even closer to mine.

“I am _not_ ready for a physical relationship,” I declare, just before my lips crush his, pushing back with significant force from the wall. He tastes so good, sounds nice, and feels even better. I push my tongue into Rai’s mouth. He parts his lips to allow me entrance. His stiff form relaxes into my hold, softening his body in my arms.

It feels _right_. As much as this morning’s appointment at the medical clinic felt wrong. It’s that thought that makes me pull away. To my relief, Rai doesn’t pursue.

“Do you want to tell me?” He asks, his voice soft, his expression gentle.

“Tell you what?”

After a small click of his tongue, he meets my gaze and touches my chin so I can’t look away. His touch is gentle, but it does the trick. Gods, his eyes are beautiful!

“About this morning. What happened with Arbitro?”

I take in a sudden, deep breath and hold it for a moment. For just a second, I consider spilling all the gory details—the drugs, the nudity, the unpleasant and inappropriate touch—and I don’t. I’m afraid I will spill tears and loud sobs as well. I keep it inside and shake my head.

“It’s _okay_ ,” Rai assures, pulling me in for a chaste and tight hug. “You’re okay now. You're all right. You’re _safe_ here.”

Rai’s chest vibrates with a soothing purr, and it’s hard not to relax in his arms. He does feel safe. Safer than he has any right to be. I hardly know him, I remind myself, even as I sink deeper into the embrace. And he doesn’t know me. So... why?

“I’m not going to push you. And again, I promise not to touch you without your consent. Feel free to kiss me anytime, or touch me however you like.”

“But for how long?” I ask, boldly.

“How long what?”

“How long will you wait for me?” I ask directly.

“Kitten—Konoe,” both words drip from his lips like honey, “you’re my _soulmate_. I’ll wait as long as it takes until you’re ready and comfortable.” His lips curve up in a genuine smile that warms my heart and makes my body shiver with the same electric feeling I get when he touches me. My fur fluffs out on its own, my tail bristles, and a loud obnoxious purr leaks from my throat.

He runs his fingers through my hair and just watches me, waiting for me to pull away. As soon as I do, he follows. Once we reach the quad, he leads the way to the counselor’s office. Outside the office, he opens his mouth.

“Do you want me to come in with you?”

“Oh, no,” I say softly. “I’ll be fine.”

I’m _not_ certain I will be fine if he stays in the waiting room. I remember what happened at the clinic—and I wonder what would have happened if I’d let him come in with me. Rai follows me to the waiting room, choosing a seat in the back of the room. My counselor seems like a decent fellow, even if his name is a little weird— _Virus_ —and he helped me plan my career here just under a month ago.

I check in at the reception desk and take a seat, but I’m called back right away. Just before I leave, I meet Rai’s gaze and he offers a reassuring smile, settling back in his chair. He’s so handsome it’s almost painful to look at him.

“Ah, good afternoon, Konoe. I was wondering if you’d make it to see me today. Seems we have an interesting development on your education plan. Have a seat.”

Virus is a smart-looking cat in his late twenties or early thirties. His hair is styled in a blonde, gravity-defying style and he is dressed neatly—lime green, black, and white make up his entire ensemble, the vest paired with the suit giving him a more formal look than the other counselors here. He peers at me with what I’d guess were contact lenses—no cat I've ever met has eyes that color—except that he wears glasses. And who wears glasses with contacts?

“I heard from Dr. Arbitro yesterday—and I heard you went to the clinic today for further tests.”

I open my mouth to reply and find my throat is dry as a desert. I close my mouth right away. Virus gives me a strange look, and I lean back in the chair and cross my arms.

“Oh?” His gaze lands on the new soul mark on my right hand before I can hide it. “Look at that! It’s new, isn’t it? And on your right hand? Aren’t you left-handed?” He reaches out to take my hand—and he’s so disarming I forget to resist, letting him take my hand. It feels wrong, though. “ _Rai_... huh.” After a pause, he nods and hums. “I see. This makes so much more sense now.”

“What are you talking about? I tried to get information at the appointment with, er, the clinic this morning, and no one would tell me anything.”

“I heard about that. I hope you don’t plan to cause a fuss at every appointment. They will be much more regular with your new schedule.”

“What will?”

“Visits to Dr. Arbitro. He’s requested to treat you personally.”

My heart sinks into my stomach. My bowels feel dangerously loose—and I’m worried I might have to sneak off to the restroom in a minute. I can’t tell if I’m going to throw up or what—but I do _not_ feel well.

“Please, explain.”

“Well,” Virus says, leaning against his desk and folding his arms—he’s mimicking my pose to put me at ease, I bet. “Your lab results are highly unusual. While you would normally be welcome to join the Touga training program, it seems your labs indicate you would be much more suited to another department. And your soul mark offers further evidence.”

“What does Rai have to do with my education?”

“He’s your soulmate, isn’t he?”

“Yes. Apparently.” I don't bother keeping the doubt from my tone.

“And his mark is on his _left_ hand, isn’t it?”

“So?”

“This is very uncommon.”

“Doesn’t that just indicate a male/male paring?” I’ve leaned that direction for a few years now, so that my soulmate is a male doesn’t concern me. Living on my own made the realization come later than it would have had I more exposure to cats in Karou.

“The only thing that indicates male/male pairings are the _names_. The hand you favor being marked is quite rare. You’re not ambidextrous. So that placement—and your lab results—have led us to the conclusion that you have found us at just the right time.”

He takes a deep breath and gestures with his hands dramatically.

“Konoe, you are a _Sanga_.”

I don’t respond, but I’m sure my face shows surprise and doubt. I quickly try to arrange my expression into something neutral. There hasn't been a real Sanga in years. I know this for a fact. Sisa doesn’t have magic anymore.

“That can’t be true,” I assert.

“It can and you are. We _have_ seen bloodwork similar to yours before, about a generation ago. Dr. Arbitro collected other sources of your, um, essence today to do further comparisons. But let me confirm: isn’t it true that you’ve never met your father?”

I nod.

“What does he have to do with anything? There are no more Sangas in the world. I mean, we have _technology_ now. I thought we traded magic for technology.”

“That is a common belief, and there are indeed very few authentic Sangas living in Sisa today. But that hasn’t always been the case. Preliminary results of your blood test were so unusual that we had to retest. Konoe, I shouldn’t tell you this yet—”

 _Then please don’t_ , I think. But Virus has a big smile on his face when he continues. “But I think you’d want to know your biological father may have attended this school before you were born. We have his test results.”

I’m not sure what to say. I’ve never met him. I never _wanted_ to meet him. And now I’m just supposed to believe both my dad and me carry this... what? Sanga gene? That’s _ridiculous_. I wave my hand as if to push away an unpleasant smell. I'm _sure_ I'm no Sanga.

“All this aside, what does it mean for my schedule?”

“Certainly, Rai is _your_ Touga. Remember legends of old—the most powerful Touga and Sanga pairs were also soulmates. Rai probably feels your power already. There aren’t many of your kind walking the earth today. But still, he has trained enough so he should be able to know what you are intuitively—or at least have a _feeling_ about you. So first, you will begin training with him to produce your song in a controlled setting.”

“Controlled?” I automatically think of the clinic when I hear this.

“ _Observed_. We want to make sure he doesn’t push you too far or exhaust you. Here. Your new schedule.”

He reaches to his desk and hands me a printout. I don’t recognize a single class. I don’t recognize any teachers, either.

“What is ‘Cult 101’?” I ask. Mondays and Wednesdays, but what is it? A cult?

“Oh, that is a class we haven’t offered in a while. It’s the history and culture of the Sanga and how you fit in.”

“Oh. And ‘Rec 101’ is what?” It looks like the location of that class is in the gym, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

“That’s the class in which you will train with your Touga. He will be notified—or possibly already has been notified via phone and email.”

“I guess ‘Sub 101’ is another class like the cult class?”

Virus shifts against his desk slightly and crosses his arms.

“Listen, you’re _not_ going to give us any trouble with your class changes. This discovery is a _big_ deal—it is _life-changing_ for you. You have the gift of _magic_ —and it’s been a generation since we trained the last one of your kind. You will have a part of returning magic in this world.”

I sigh.

“I just—it’s just, I mean, the reason I came here is to learn to fight.”

“You will. You’ll just take a different role in the fight. Your assistance will make Rai the most powerful Touga in the world today—and in recent history since you’re his soulmate.” Virus ruffles the hair on my head and the fur on my ears before I pull away. His touch doesn’t feel reassuring or right at all. “Don’t forget the Med 101 class.”

I look down, my stomach sickening. Twice per week in the afternoons, Mondays and Wednesdays, I have to spend at the medical clinic—with Dr. Arbitro.

“Ah, _hell_ no,” I say.

“You signed away your right to refuse when you joined us. Letting the doctor examine you and observe your physical progress is essential to his line of work—as well as the university for funding, and for Sisa as a whole. Konoe, you have no idea how rare you are.”

I’m not some specimen to be examined in a lab! It’s insulting!

“The doctor will want to see if there is anything special about Rai. He’s scheduled you both at the same time.”

I’m not sure whether I should be relieved or worried. I shake my head and prepare to leave.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Virus says, grabbing my chin and making me meet those cold blue eyes. “You’ve already paid tuition and signed away the next years of your life. You’re in this whether you want it or not. It’s a lot like that mark on your wrist.”

He touches the mark—Rai’s name—and another shudder of revulsion goes through me at the touch.

“Yeah, if you don’t like how that feels, I’d take care of it sooner rather than later,” he advises seriously.

“Take care of what?”

Virus takes a step back and stares at me, disbelief in his usually impassive face.

“Konoe, do you know _nothing_ about soul marks?”

I huff in annoyance.

“I know as much as the next person. I just don’t believe they have anything to do with destiny or whatever—”

“You’re quite wrong there. Those who defy or ignore their marks often die young.” He turns and shuffles through some papers on his desk. “Ah. I _see_. You’re the son of a single parent who defied her mark. She passed while you were still young.”

“What does my mother have to do with anything?”

“I’m giving you a friendly warning. The sooner you consummate your relationship with your soulmate, the happier you will be. Then it won’t bother you so much if someone else touches yours. See?” He strokes the mark on my wrist again and I feel like I might vomit.

“Consummate?” Yes, I know the literal meaning of that word, but I cannot believe this is my guidance counselor’s advice. It’s got _nothing_ to do with education, after all.

“Consummate. As in, let him fuck you.” His tone takes on the characteristics of explaining the world to a small child. It's _infuriating_.

“What?”

“You were _miserable_ with Arbitro today, weren’t you? Feeling like this,” he brushes his fingertips across my wrist once again, “every time he touched you? It’s only going to get more invasive from here on out. So make nice with the white kitty and make sure he attends those sessions with you. It may become a pleasant task.”

I consider his words as I yank my wrist away. Is he saying that if I sleep with Rai that my medical appointments will go more smoothly? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!

“I want to speak to the dean,” I say firmly. I’m sure this is wrong. None of this is fair. And the entire situation is _ridiculous_.

“Well, I’m sure Dean Razel would love to meet you. He’s thrilled that you’ve chosen Ransen for your training, and even more thrilled that you're a Sanga.”

“You can’t know _any_ of this!” I shout, losing my temper, body trembling. “I’ve never even sung! I can’t play an instrument! I don't know how to practice magic!”

“Well, you’re also still a virgin who met his soulmate and you haven't slept with him yet,” Virus says. “I’m sure the dean would love to offer you his advice. One moment.”

Virus picks up the phone on his desk and dials a number.

“Sheila, hi... Yes. How are you?... Yes. Actually, he’s here now... Ah... I see. And the appointment time?... All right. I’ll let him know... Thank you.” He hangs up and looks at me.

“He will see you today. Head on over there now. Take your soulmate with you. It concerns him, too.”

I stand up and Virus meets my gaze.

“You may be a unique specimen for our school’s medical program, but don’t let that go to your head. If I could give you a piece of advice before you meet with the dean...”

“I didn’t _ask_ for any!” I snap rudely. I try to turn and leave the office, but Virus grabs my tail and yanks it, hard. “Ouch!” I snap, my ears bristled. That was unnecessary!

“Dean Razel won’t be as patient with you as I have been, kitten. So you’d better count your lucky stars for my friendly warning.”

I yank my tail out of Virus’s hand.

“Whatever,” I mutter, my face lowered as I leave the office. And his office door closes a lot louder than normal.

Rai is waiting for me, lounging in one of the chairs. The way he is sitting in the chair drips with allure. He’s draped in it, long arms and legs oozing over the sides. He jerks his face up to look at me—smiling happily—when he sees me. It’s such a ridiculous expression I almost want to leave right there! But I can’t. Instead—my body freezes and waits. I cannot take a single step. I watch as he peels himself up out of the chair and walks up to me, taking my hand.

“Everything okay?” He asks, his voice soft.

I nod, trying to ignore the burn in my eyes. Tears, I’m sure. What the hell?! I’ve bawled more this week than I have in the past three years. It’s ridiculous!

“Hey, it’s okay,” Rai whispers. Then he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in close and grabbing my right hand with his left, lacing our fingers together. The mark tingles and shivers through my body—and I relax, taking a deep cleansing breath and letting it out slowly. Maybe I am resisting the whole soulmate thing too much. This touch feels more comforting and arousing than anything I’ve ever felt.

Sure, it’s frightening. But I enjoy it. And he smells so good. His body feels like a shield protecting me from the world.

“Rai?” I ask. “Would you mind coming to the dean’s office with me?”

He leans down and pulls away so I don’t have to crane my neck to see his expression.

“You don’t need to ask. I’m happy to. When?”

“Virus says he’s expecting me.”

“Sure.”

Keeping silent—and completely ignoring the stares and glares from the students in the waiting room—I let the gorgeous silver cat lead me from the building to the quad. It occurs to me I haven’t ever been to the dean’s office, and I have no idea where it is. So I just follow Rai, holding his hand.


	7. Meeting the Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razel is the dean of students at the university. He lets Konoe know what’s happening to him, and how his life is about to change.
> 
> Trigger warnings: intimidation, non-con collaring, forced submission (but not in a sexual sense), threat of physical punishment.

The dean’s office is in a fancier, older building than the counseling center. Even the waiting room is luxurious. Probably where my school tuition fees went, I think somewhat bitterly. Rai is familiar with the office and its location, asking if I’d like him to go in with me.

At first, I’m a little taken aback. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate the offer, but it feels like the silver cat is acting possessive. It can’t be from the interactions we’ve had so far. We’ve hardly just met. I mean what, it's been less than twenty-four hours since we met? It’s strange. And even more strange, I don’t mind that much.

“I will be fine. Just, um...” I glance up at his pale blue eyes, trying not to admire the ridiculously long eyelashes framing them. “Um, would you wait for me, though?”

“I’d be happy to,” he says softly. He sits down in a chair and watches me check in with the front desk. Sheila, the dean’s secretary, looks up and gives me a tired smile when I approach her desk.

“He’s expecting you. Please, go on in.”

Straightening my back, I push open the ornate wooden door. A dramatic shade of deep red paints the walls above dark paneling. The same dark wood floors creak softly under my feet, then my shoes sink into a plush rug. Several framed awards and accreditations hang from the walls, and the entire right side of the room is a bookcase, filled from floor to ceiling with expensive-looking books. On the left, there's a dark built-in cabinet. A large window, framed in burgundy velvet drapes, faces the quad.

Behind a large mahogany desk sits an unfamiliar creature. I’ve heard there are devils at this school, but I didn’t know the dean was one. He’s a tall man with olive-toned skin and bright red hair, partly pulled back on the top of his head and the rest curling around his shoulders. His eyes are a clear blue, currently appraising me from the tips of my ears to the hook at my tail. He has black curved horns at the top of his head and a smooth black tail.

“You must be Konoe,” he says in a deep baritone. He stands up to shake my hand before perching just on top of the desk. There are no chairs in here besides his desk chair, but there is a small sofa pushed against the wall. He hasn't offered me a seat or motioned me toward the sofa, so I stay standing.

I feel awfully small in front of this hulking creature. My ears lower reflexively, my tail twitching nervously, prey stalked by a predator. Suddenly, I wish Rai had come in with me.

“Yes,” I remember to reply to his greeting. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Trust me when I say the pleasure is mine. I’m Razel, the dean at the university. We’re delighted to have one of your kind here to study.”

“My kind?” I can’t help it. This entire situation is unnerving.

His eyes narrow slightly as he looks down his aquiline nose at me. He is a handsome devil, I have to admit, but utterly intimidating.

“A Sanga, according to your test results,” he clarifies. “Though it hasn’t been confirmed yet, the last Sanga we had the pleasure of training had results much like yours. He may have been your father.”

Reaching behind him, he pulls a manila folder from his desk without looking. The cover page flashes in my vision—my entrance photo is on the first page. It must be my file.

“Interesting, indeed. You hail from Karou, kitten?”

I nod. He glares up at me again, his eyes narrowing once more. I’m slightly taken aback by the sharpness of his gaze, but I’m not doing anything on purpose to irritate him. What's his problem?

“And you grew up in a single-parent household. Your mother... she left her bonded mate?”

“Their relationship didn’t work out,” I correct him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and he sounds like the judgmental cats from my village!

His eyes wander to my right arm. Before I know what’s happening, Razel has grabbed my wrist.

“And you even have the mark of a Sanga. That’s new since your arrival, isn’t it?”

I snatch my hand out of his grip, and he releases me, only to grab my chin to force me to meet his gaze. He cranes my neck so I can’t avoid his eyes. My fur bristles and I growl softly.

“Don’t touch me,” I protest, but my shoulder is grabbed.

“Konoe, kitten,” Razel purrs. “It appears you don’t quite understand your position.”

“What position?”

“I’m not keen to tell you if you continue to insist on giving me such attitude. I’d thank you to mind your manners—especially toward your betters—given your new status.”

Betters? What the hell is he talking about?!

“What status?!” I snap, growling low.

“Address me politely, as 'sir,'” he growls even louder, glowering down at me. There’s a flicker of bright orange flame behind his eyes.

“Or what?!” I won’t let him intimidate me. “I’m a student, the same as anyone else. My tuition means you work for me!” I continue to struggle out of his grip. It’s pointless, but he drops my chin suddenly and reaches behind his desk.

“I see,” he says, indicating some secret understanding. “No one has explained what this mark means, have they.” It’s not a question, but a statement of fact. “I’m glad you came here so I could be the one to explain it to you.”

He has something in his hand—a black leather bracelet with silver adornments on the outside. But I don’t get a chance to look at it closely, since his claws dig into my nape, efficiently paralyzing me. I sink to my knees—in a way I haven’t felt since I was a kitten and Mom scruffed me. I feel utterly powerless and vulnerable, but I can’t even twitch my tail.

“You have all the right traits for your kind,” Razel whispers, and he combs his claws through the fur on my ears. “You’re easily forced to submit. Your body understands its purpose is to serve someone more physically powerful than yourself. Even your scruff functions, which is unusual in cats your age. It will make training much easier.”

I manage to flick my ears (but don’t manage any other movement) when I hear a metallic buckling sound. He’s encased my neck with that leather collar. Worse—something heavy is sinking into my chest, even after he releases my scruff. I feel like a weight is sinking into me, making my body remain kneeling on the rug. Is this magic? I didn’t think magic even existed in our time anymore.

“What...?” I can’t quite form the question.

“You will hush now,” Razel says, stroking my ears again. “Give it a few moments to work, to sink in. The collar will help you.”

I try to dig my claws up underneath it, to unbuckle it, or tear it off. It feels humiliating to be leashed like a pet—but my hands only fumble at the clasp. I can’t get it off. It’s almost as if my hands won’t cooperate to remove it.

“The collar is imbued with magic designed to train you for your new position in life. It will encourage you to obey. You will wear it until your instructors and your partner trust you enough to accept their rule over you. To start, I’d like you to apologize to me for your rudeness.”

I purse my lips. There’s no fucking way I’m going to apologize! He’s here to help me—one of his students! It’s his job! I open my mouth to state my firm opinion, and I hear something completely different come out.

“I apologize, sir, for my rudeness. It will not happen again. Thank you for looking out for me, sir.”

It’s my voice—but in a soft, seductive, silky tone. What the hell just happened? I’m so surprised and ashamed at the sound of it and of my words, that I lower my gaze to hide the blush on my cheeks.

“That is much better. This attitude suits you so well, kitten.”

“Thank you, sir,” my voice responds—all on its own. I’m so confused!

“Now, let’s get started with a basic explanation. Your soul mark is certainly a big change for any cat. But what you may not know is that its location determines your lot in life. You’re right-handed, right?” He thumbs through the pages in my file. “Yes, indeed you are. When your favored wrist is marked with the name of your soulmate, it indicates you serve an important but rare position in life, at least in this era.”

I dare a glance but quickly look away from his frightening eyes.

“As a Sanga, in your case.”

I’ve never sung before. I know what a Sanga is, but there’s no way I am one! I would know! I came here specifically to learn to fight, to be a Touga! This news is even more disappointing than my schedule change!

“Yes, we know you haven’t produced your song yet. It will come soon—along with several other changes. We are here to help encourage it, strengthen it, so you will become a productive member of society when you sing to support your Touga. And what a Touga you have—your soulmate is the strongest of our students. We will teach him to make use of your talents.”

I hardly know what to think. I feel horrified—not by Rai, of course—but by all this talk of serving and support. And my soulmate “making use” of me. I want to ask about it, but Razel seems to anticipate my question.

“You are a magical creature, Konoe. My kind can feel it. Your soulmate can feel it. But because inborn magic has become such a unique characteristic in these times, we must be very careful with managing you. To start, we can no longer house you in the dorms.”

What?

“I’m sorry, sir. Where will I go?”

“Don’t concern yourself. Your items have already been packed up. Now you may choose between two options. The first, and our recommendation, is that you move in with your Touga. It will be most comfortable for both of you. You will have the best chance of bonding there, plus you’ll have a little time to get used to your new position in life.”

“I hardly know him, sir.” I only met him yesterday! Plus, Rai only has a one-bedroom apartment. There’s not even an extra bed for me! Certainly, they don’t expect us to share a bed so soon! This is my worst fear of finding a soulmate, come to life! Of course, I cannot express any of these feelings with the damned collar suppressing my voice.

“The other option—which I will show you—is the medical ward.”

“Sir?” Terror shoots through my chest.

“You see, it is our responsibility to preserve your magic and supervise your training. Your Touga could perform that role easily—making sure to keep you safe will be his lifelong goal, of course. But if you’re not yet comfortable with him, we will observe you in the basement of the clinic. Long ago, we housed many of your kind there. It’s currently empty, but clean. However, because of the rules we have in place for the ward, I think you’d be more comfortable rooming with your Touga.”

What rules, I wonder? And why the hell would I need supervision? I’ve been on my own for years! Why would I need to be observed? What are they expecting to see?

“Am I sick, sir?”

“Of course not. We just want to make sure you don’t become ill, which magical creatures often do when they are separated from the soulmates for an extended time.”

That’s ridiculous. I’ve lived alone for years and haven’t ever been sick!

“There’s not much concern there, since we know who your soulmate is. I’m sure he will prevent you from falling ill. I’ll show you the medical ward—and your partner may want to see it as well—and let you decide. We’re not savages here. It’s not our intention to take away your free will. You can’t practice your magic without free will, after all.”

With all this talk about serving Rai and dictating where I can live, I beg to differ. And I am unable to express my concern with the weight of this collar on me.

“The collar,” Razel continues—as though he read my mind, “is a necessary tool to keep you calm and biddable. With so many changes happening at once, it would be dangerous to let you muddle through things without assistance. Plus, learning submission will help you with your future purpose. Things will go much more smoothly once you learn to submit to and consummate the bond with your Touga.”

Consummate? That can only mean one thing. It isn’t that I don’t find Rai attractive. He is, exceedingly so. It’s just that I can’t imagine having sex with anyone right now. I’m just not ready—and to think that my education depends on it... it frightens me! Instead, the following words come out of my mouth.

“Consummate, sir?”

“Indeed. You must bond physically, emotionally, and spiritually with your soulmate—more than other soulmates need to—because of your inherent magic.”

Not ready for that sort of physical relationship, is the red alert flashing in the back of my mind. However, there already has been some kissing (and oh, my gods—that incident in Rai’s living room that I’m too ashamed to even remember). The idea of sex with Rai, in particular, sends a luscious tingle through my body that pools in my hips.

I still am not sure why they believe I am a Sanga. It doesn’t make sense. I want to protest but can’t say what I mean. I also cannot get up from my knees, and I feel strangely submissive. It’s got to be the collar, and I touch it again softly. I want it off.

“I know, kitten. It will take some time to get used to. But I’d like you to understand two things about that collar. First,” Razel takes a moment to page through my file. He shows me my intake contract. “This form is familiar, is it not? This is your signature?”

“Yes, sir.” Of course, I wish now I’d read that contract more carefully.

“You’ve put yourself in our care until you’ve earned your degree. You’ve consented to all medical procedures and rituals in this contract. See the middle paragraph.”

I glance at it, my heart falling.

“And since you’ve already exchanged your tuition for this service, because of your unusual bloodwork, this secondary clause applies to you. See here.”

He taps with a clawed finger—long, black, sharp claws—but my eyes blur with tears. I can’t read it. I regret not reading the contract more carefully and trusting what I’d read online about this university!

“Second, I’d like to direct your attention to the wall on your left.” He stands up and walks over to a wall-mounted cabinet.

I obey. My gaze shimmers with tears that I refuse to spill. I watch as he opens the door and my jaw drops. I see several paddles—wooden, leather, some solid, some with holes—as well as a whip, a flogger, a riding crop, and several canes of varying sizes and lengths. Even I know these are implements for corporal punishment! Why does he have a cabinet like this in his office?!

“We haven’t gotten to use these much as our influx of magical creatures has been dwindling. But I'd be delighted to show you the alternative to wearing that collar. We’ve discovered over the centuries that magical creatures respond well to physical reinforcement—much better than children.” He runs a loving hand over one of the canes and then looks down at me. “I would love to be able to try these out on you. As long as you’re wearing that collar, however, you won’t be able to disobey. Eventually, however, we will teach you obedience and submission without it. It’s a difficult lesson to learn for your kind—Ribika do so adore their independence.”

Sheer terror courses through my body, and I tremble. I haven’t been this afraid since my mother became ill. Yes, she would scruff me to force me to obey her when I was a kitten, but even she never beat me. And I’m sure I’m not misunderstanding the demon’s intentions.

“Do you understand me, kitten?”

“Yes, sir,” I reply, dropping my gaze to the floor.

“Wonderful. Now. Let’s fetch your partner and show you the medical ward. I have heard you’ve already seen Rai’s apartment.”

“Sir,” I whisper.

“What is it, kitten?”

“Um, does Rai know about any of this?”

“Not specifically.”

“Sir, do you think he’d want me in his apartment? In his space? We've only just met.”

“He’d be a fool not to keep an eye on you at all times. While he probably hasn’t figured out exactly what you are and what that means for the both of you, he probably has a gut instinct, urging him to protect you. I’m confident he will invite you to stay with him once he sees the alternative. Now, come.”

He pulls me to my feet. My body moves woodenly—a puppet on a string—as I follow the red demon out into the waiting room. I can’t make eye contact with Rai lounging gorgeously in one of the chairs, but he climbs to his feet immediately. It attracts my attention and our eyes meet—honey gold with icy blue.

“What is this? What happened?” Rai’s gaze wanders up and down my body, and his face is soft with concern. Then, his eyes land on my collar. “What is the meaning of this?”

I avert my gaze. I thought what happened in his living room this afternoon was embarrassing. But this is something else!

Razel waves him off.

“Psh. Don’t worry about it. Let’s not waste time, Rai. Take your soulmate and follow me.”

He heads toward the door, nodding to his secretary.

“I’ll return in twenty minutes, Sheila. Thank you.”

“Congratulations,” Sheila says, and I look up. She is looking at Rai, who is completely bewildered.

“Um, thank you?” He takes my hand and runs a finger underneath the leather of the collar. “Are you all right?” He asks in a low whisper.

I nod.

“Let’s get this over with, then I’ll get your explanation.”


	8. The Collar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter in which Konoe and Rai are shown the possible living quarters in the medical clinic. Rai is unhappy with the latest developments—at least as unhappy as Konoe. The difference is Rai can express himself and Konoe cannot.
> 
> Trigger: angst and forced obedience (if that is a trigger for anyone)

“Really,” Rai whispers in my ear, taking my arm. “What’s wrong?”

I can’t reply. All I can do is follow behind the red-haired demon leading the way to the medical clinic. My anxiety is increasing—both because we approaching the clinic and also because I can’t seem to form words or speak my mind. My thoughts seem to slow down, too.

“Konoe.”

When Rai says my name, I am compelled to look at him. I don’t stop walking, but Rai does, bringing me to a halt with his hand on my elbow.

“What happened?”

I shake my head and look away.

“Look at me.”

I can’t disobey. My chin automatically turns back to Rai, much to my confusion and his.

“What happened?”

My mouth opens and no words come. At this point, Razel stops and faces us.

“Is there a problem?” He interrupts. Then he focuses his powerful, clear blue gaze on me. “Kitten, I don’t have all day. You may discuss your options with your partner later.”

I lower my face and feel terrible. This isn’t right—I know it’s this damned collar. But it's weighing heavily on me. Rai seems to notice something is wrong, but he can’t tell what it is. His eyes continue to concentrate on my collar. He doesn’t say anymore. Instead, we follow Razel into the medical clinic, my stomach roiling with distress.

There’s a seldom-used stairway behind the lobby toward the end of the building. It isn’t in heavy use since dust has built up on the railing. The distinct smell of disinfectant raises the hair on the back of my neck, reminding me of the embarrassing procedure I endured this morning. Bile creeps up from my stomach as I follow the demon downstairs.

“What is this place?” Rai asks, his voice sharp and addressing Razel. “What are we doing here?”

“Rai, as you probably heard, your soulmate’s labwork revealed an anomaly. We haven’t seen anything like this in about twenty years. Konoe has a unique condition that requires him to be housed away from the other students.”

“What?” Rai asks, disbelief covering his tone. “He’s ill? And contagious?”

“Not at all,” Razel clarifies, pushing open the door to the basement and ushering us inside. It’s a heavy steel door with a heavy lock on the outside. “It isn’t an illness. But it makes him a rather special specimen.”

I can feel rather than hear Rai scoff at the term “specimen.”

“As a result of his labwork, he is no longer permitted to reside in the dorms. It’s not safe for him or the other students.”

“But he’s not contagious? So what is the problem?” Rai asks, still obviously bewildered. “How could something like this have been missed when he first arrived?”

“As I said, he _isn’t_ contagious. He has a unique and unusual blood type. Most likely, he won’t display any symptoms of the underlying condition for another week.”

“During the mating season,” Rai confirms as he takes my elbow, reluctant to let go of me.

“Though you haven’t been exposed to his kind before, you must feel _something_ special about him. Perhaps your blood simmers in his presence,” Razel suggests, holding the heavy steel door open and ushering us inside. The floors, walls, and ceiling are a clinical white, lit by flickering fluorescent bulbs that make the entire place feel eerie. Razel narrows his eyes at Rai, waiting for a spark of acknowledgment.

“Well, I’ve never had a soulmate before. I assumed those feelings were a result of the mark,” Rai says, still confused. I notice with some relief that he has tightened his grip on my arm and pulled me a little closer. He makes me feel much safer than the demon.

“You will notice more, probably after the mating season begins. In the meantime, we have to guard him closely—make sure he is not wandering around by himself, leaving himself open to attack.”

Rai looks down at me, surprised by my lack of response. I would normally protest this, but of course, I can’t speak because of the collar around my neck.

“So this is one of his housing options. We will be moving him tonight. Here.” Razel pushes open a door, also locked from the outside, revealing a small space about the size of my dorm room, with a single bed, a dresser, and a desk. There’s a small bathroom attached. The entire place smells like bleach and my stomach turns over again. I think I might be sick. I manage not to vomit when Razel issues a command to me. “Konoe, _yield_.”

Rai looks with amazement as I drop to my knees, resting my hands in my lap and lowering my eyes to Razel’s boots.

“What the fuck is this?” Rai asks, his voice spiked with anger. “What the _hell_ did you do to him?!”

“I did nothing. It's the collar. He must wear this collar at all times when he is in public. Otherwise, he will draw too much attention and risk the magic that flows in his veins.”

“ _Magic_? What magic?” Rai asks. Then, in a more urgent and softer tone, “Konoe—kitten—what _happened_ to you? What is this about?”

When I still don’t respond, Rai gets frustrated.

“He’s _not_ living here! He paid tuition like all the other students! Do you plan to lock him in?!”

“Yes. It’s essential to keep him, er, _untainted_ , so his magic will retain its power,” Razel says. “He will be locked in when not in classes or accompanying you. It’s for his safety and your future. If you don’t wish him to share meals with you, he will be fed here and kept secure. We can't have him running off.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Rai asks, his voice calmer but still displeased. “I’m _not_ okay with this. And kitten, why aren’t you saying anything?”

I maintain my position on the floor, feeling my eyes burn with humiliating tears and my ears warming with a blush. I can’t explain it—but losing my ability to speak up for myself is much harder to deal with than I could ever imagine. I feel strangely drawn to Rai, perhaps more than when I'm not wearing the collar, but something still isn't right. I feel helpless.

“Konoe,” Rai says my name, a barely perceptible hint of desperation lacing his tone, though I don’t respond. I can’t! “Konoe, look at me, please!”

The moment Rai issues the command, I tilt my chin in his direction. I probably wouldn’t if I weren’t wearing this collar, because I know my eyes are shiny with tears. I don't want to cry in front of him (and especially not in front of the demon). The expression on Rai’s face—anger and confusion—melts into something that looks pained.

“Kitten...” He reaches out and brushes my chin with his fingers, then runs his claws through the fur on my ears. Then he glares at Razel. “What the fuck did you do to him?”

“The _only_ thing I have done is given him a collar. It will make him more biddable and easier to train. He is required to wear it in public and class unless he receives permission to go without from you or his instructors. They will only remove it to measure his progress.”

“What?” Rai’s voice is cold. “This is ridiculous. Konoe, get up off your knees. It’s not your place to kneel before anyone!”

My body obeys—relieved to get off the floor, but it’s disturbing that the only reason I manage it is that Rai ordered me to stand. Part of me is terrified that I could be ordered to do something I don't want (or am not ready) to do. My panic is high enough at this point that I need to push those thoughts from my mind.

“What the fuck?!” Rai’s exasperation spills over. “Someone needs to explain exactly what this is about.” He glares at me, though I am still looking at his shoes, and then waits for Razel’s explanation.

“It’s not my place to tell you all the details. He can share them when you are alone if you wish. However, the choice of where we will keep him remains. We already packed up his belongings, and they are on their way here.”

“This is _entirely_ unacceptable,” Rai says. “I won’t allow him to stay here. This is _ridiculous_.”

“There is a second option,” Razel replies, meeting Rai’s angry gaze. I chance a look between them. Razel is a tall creature. Rai, however, matches his height, but his body is more slender than Razel’s bulkier form. The silver cat—my soulmate—is completely unfazed and confident before the dean.

“Well, what is it?” Rai demands. He glances at me, softening his gaze. He’s so utterly attractive. More than anything, I wish he’d touch me. I can’t approach him or even move without a command, though. The collar around my neck weighs heavier by the minute. Something inside my soul is being strangled.

“He can move in with you.” Razel puts his hands on his hips and looks around. “If you don’t get along, you can always bring him here for the night or an extended stay. It would be an _excellent_ method to encourage obedience. He doesn’t seem to like it here.”

“ _Obedience_? What are you talking about?”

“Rai, I know this may come as a surprise, but your soulmate is not a normal cat. This is a good thing—as we haven’t seen someone with his level of magic in a couple of decades. This will be a _wonderful_ thing for your career.”

Rai huffs in annoyance.

“What do you mean? _My_ career? What about _his_ career?! You’re acting like he deserves to be enslaved or kept in a prison cell!”

“That isn’t so very far from the truth. We were fortunate indeed that your soul marks showed up when they did, or he would be forced to stay within these walls, making it that much harder to meet you.”

“Konoe,” Rai implores me. “Tell me what is going on.”

Because it’s an order, I open my mouth and words come out.

“They say I’m a Sanga.”

Rai’s ears perk up and I don’t miss the flare of his nostrils and the dilation of his pupils.

“A Sanga? How is this even possible? Didn’t Sisa trade in magic for technology years ago?”

“It did,” Razel acknowledges. “It takes some years for the magic to die out completely. You may not be aware, but the kitten has an unknown genetic heritage.”

“What?”

“He has never met his father. We believe his father may have been a student here—a powerful Sanga—before his conception.” Razel narrows his eyes and looks at me. “Kitten, _yield_.”

Immediately I drop to my knees again, humiliation flooding my heart and mind. Rai doesn’t disguise the disgusted puff of air that escapes his mouth.

“What the fuck is this?” Rai rests his hand on my shoulder—it’s a comforting gesture that I want to lean into, but I can’t move. “ _Stop_ this. I want this to stop, right now.” He drops to his knee before me and takes my face in his hands, his pale blue eyes glittering under the artificial light. “Konoe. Wake up.”

“Oh, he’s very much awake and aware,” Razel assures. “He will obey any command, too. His body is designed to interact this way.”

“I don’t _want_ his obedience!” Rai says.

“You must take advantage of it—at least in public and until his power manifests and stabilizes. Only you or other magical creatures can command him in that collar.”

“Well, let’s take it off,” Rai says, but Razel stops him.

“You will be putting his magic at risk if you remove it. He is unstable—his magic could spill out at any time and hurt or kill someone. Do you want that responsibility to fall on his young shoulders? He’d never forgive you. Instead, you must keep him collared whenever you are not alone. He won’t hurt you—you’re his _soulmate_. He cannot hurt you.”

Rai lets out another irritated sound.

“Konoe, stand up.”

I obey his command, and he climbs to his feet as well. He tips my chin up slightly to look in my eyes.

“I don’t want you to stay here. Will you move in with me? Please.” His eyes are earnest and clear. “I won’t touch you—and I’ll take the couch—”

“You shouldn’t,” Razel interrupts. “The sooner your consummate your bond, the safer you both will be.”

Rai glares at the demon, and I suddenly hear myself speak.

“Whatever you wish, master.”

“ _Master_?” Rai says, a little horrified. He shifts uncomfortably on his feet. “I’m not your master! If this is some kind of joke, I’m not laughing.”

“It’s no joke,” Razel says. “The collar—”

“He’s not going to hurt anyone!” Rai bursts out. He reaches out to remove the collar, but Razel stops his hand again.

“Stop and calm down, Rai. You’re one of our best students. You know the history of Sanga and Touga better than anyone. Surely, you can feel his magic vibrating under your skin. He will only affect his soulmate and other magical creatures to this extent. But other Touga—those still in training—may also sense something special about him. If they manage to connect with him physically before you do, you’ll put your partnership at risk.”

“I haven’t even heard if he wants this!”

"Psh. What he wants is _irrelevant_. It's not his place!" Razel scolds.

"I don't want it if he doesn't," Rai insists stubbornly. "I won't be taking advantage of him in any case. It's wrong!"

“Kitten, do you wish to sing for your master?” Razel asks, fed up with Rai’s resistance.

“Yes, sir, if he will have me." My voice is soft but sure.

“Answer honestly. Would you prefer to stay here or with your soulmate?”

“With my soulmate.”

“There,” Razel says, looking pleased when he meets Rai's gaze. “You heard it from his own mouth. You should be satisfied. Now, we’ve spent far too much time on this already. If you wish to remove the collar, take him back to your apartment first. I have to get back to the rest of my day. Kitten, return with your master and obey him.”

"Yes, sir," I say, my voice still soft and strange.

Rai looks flabbergasted but seems relieved that he won’t have to leave me here. I really would rather not stay here overnight, either. It’s a horrible place. And really—they'd keep me here if _what_? I don’t perform well with whatever new lessons I’ve been assigned? If Rai gets tired of me? If I don’t do whatever he wants? Anger flares underneath the surface of my skin, but I can’t express it.

“Come on,” Rai whispers. “Let’s get you back to my place and talk about this.”

I obey, letting him take my arm. A huge weight lifts off me the moment we leave the clinic. My head is aching. I just want to get away from the dean all together.


	9. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai takes Konoe back to his apartment. They hash out the details of their living arrangements after Konoe expresses his displeasure at having been subjected to the magic-suppressing collar.

Just before we part ways from Razel—and I still am unable to look at either of them unless directly commanded to do so—the red-haired demon runs his claws through the fur on my ears and cards through my hair. It sends an awful, unpleasant shiver down my spine and makes Rai bristle.

“Don’t touch him.”

“Ah. Sorry. I just, um—well, it’s been a long while since I’ve been around anyone of this world with so much magic. You surely can feel it simmering beneath his skin? Hell, it’s got your name inscribed on it as sure as his wrist.” Razel pulls away from my hair and brushes the mark on my right hand.

Rai growls.

“Don’t _touch_ him,” he repeats, his voice lower. He physically moves his body between the demon and me.

“Student services should be finished packing the kitten’s belongings. They‘ll be at your place within the hour. If you have any problems or if you wish him out of your sight, even just for the night, please call me. Do not leave him alone or with anyone else. Do you understand?”

Rai just glares, arms crossed, eyes blazing.

“It’s _imperative_ that you understand this. This kitten—he is a _Sanga_. His song and magic will be at risk if exposed to physical contact from any non-magical being other than his soulmate. It’s my advice that you consummate your physical bond _tonight_. If he is unwilling, leave the collar on. He will do your bidding as enthusiastically as you command.”

My arm is grabbed sharply—I don’t see the expression on Rai’s face, but the pace of his stalking away from the demon is furious. I struggle to keep up. It takes a few seconds for him to calm himself enough to realize he is pushing me.

“Gods, that’s awful. I’d never _ever_ do that!” Rai murmurs. I keep my eyes low and am unable to speak. Even now. “Let’s get back to my apartment.”

An easy feeling of comfort encases my heart and body the moment we step inside his door. It’s probably enhanced because of the collar I’m wearing, but it feels like it’s because of Rai’s scent. I feel surrounded by him in this space, perfectly safe, like it’s my home. I sigh softly when we enter and slip out of my shoes, following his lead in the entryway.

I follow him into the living room and gracefully lower myself to my knees, hands on my lap, eyes lowered—in the same position I took when Razel told me to “yield.” My body does this all on its own, as though this is what is required to share the same space as my master.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Rai asks. The anger spiking his voice is audible, though his tone remains calm. Displeasing him, however—that is another story. I feel tears prick my eyes. “ _Look_ at me.”

I raise my eyes just enough to see suppressed anger on his face. I swallow—deeply upset to the point of nausea that I’ve managed to displease him. To my shock and horror, tears spill down my cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Master,” I whisper, unable to look away until forgiven and dismissed. My body has the urge to grovel, to prostrate myself before him, to beg his forgiveness—and that in itself should be an indication that something is very wrong with me. I’ve _never_ felt the desire or urge to grovel before anyone.

“Oh, kitten—ugh,” Rai says, rubbing his hand on his neck. He looks confused now, not angry, and that makes cool relief flow through my veins. Maybe he isn’t mad?

His pale blue eyes—so lovely, with perfect feathery lashes—narrow sharply on my throat. It doesn’t occur to me right away but when his slender fingers reach out to me and he drops to one knee, he touches the collar.

“This is ridiculous. I sure as hell hope he didn’t do anything permanent to you. Let’s get this collar off to start.”

The metal buckle clinks softly—and my entire body and brain jerk with a flash of light and heat. Before the collar is even removed from my neck, what has just happened to me—how I was made to “yield,” how I was so submissive, how I was so utterly vulnerable before two perfect strangers—roils up in my gut in a burst of red-hot anger. The anger is transformed instantly to energy, and I spring up like an arrow released from a bow.

“Get— _away_ ,” I can barely speak—but words I want to say are coming out at least. The silky, submissive, hypnotic tone of my voice has been replaced by a raspy tone as if I haven’t had anything to drink in a week. “Don’t— _touch_ —me.”

Rai jumps away from me, backing up to give me space. I’m pressed up against the wall, as far away from him as I can get.

“What—the _fuck_ —happened?” I glare at Rai, staring at the benign-looking black leather collar in his hand. He carelessly tosses it on the coffee table.

“Just breathe,” Rai says, his voice soft and gentle. “Take a deep breath. Have a seat. I’m not going to hurt you. I’d _never_ hurt you. Let’s get you something to drink.”

He backs into the kitchen, motioning me toward the couch. Ah, right. This is my soulmate. A strong, powerful cat who could easily do whatever he wanted to me, an evil voice whispers in the back of my mind. He was right there the _entire_ time—he _saw_ me “yield” and kneel to that demon— _twice_!

My cheeks are damp, I realize—and I’m mortified to feel tears on my face. My eyes are blazing with heat—more tears, but these feel angry and utterly helpless rather than distressed. Why was I so distressed? I cried because I was afraid I’d displeased Rai? That I’d displeased my master?

My _master_?! The image of Rai is still seared in my mind—and no, he didn’t hurt me. He didn’t threaten me. He didn’t punish me. He didn’t order me to do anything—except then the silver cat’s voice rings in my head:

> “Look at me.”
> 
> “Get up off your knees.”
> 
> “Tell me what is going on.”
> 
> “Stand up.”

He _did_ order me—he _commanded_ me—and my body was _forced_ to obey. He didn’t ask me to do anything terrible or humiliating—but the fact that he could have scares the shit out of me! What is going on? I struggle to remember the conversation with Razel. He insisted I’m magic, I’m a Sanga, I can’t go back to my dorm, I can’t be around other cats without this collar. What the actual fuck?!

I startle and flinch when Rai comes back into the living room. His face falls and he looks concerned.

“Would you like some juice?” I notice now that Rai is _asking_ —not ordering me to drink. Perhaps he didn’t know what the effect of that collar until after the fact.

I nod, keeping my lips closed but accepting the glass. My body is trembling and shaking. I don’t know what to do, how to act— _anything_! The tears of frustration are building and I struggle to hold them back.

“Deep breaths,” Rai reminds me. He makes a move to sit next to me on the couch—on the couch that we were making out on before. A sharp pain lances through my chest—worse than before, stealing my breath. At the memory of his touch? What is this?

“May I sit next to you? I won’t hurt you.”

I nod again, taking a small sip from the glass, the juice sloshing around in my shivering hands. A sweet and sour taste spreads in my mouth. It’s kuim. My favorite. The fact that he just happened to choose this for me makes my eyes burn more.

“Listen, I will give you some time to recover. I don’t know what the fuck _this_ is,” Rai nods at the collar on the coffee table. “But I need to know what is going on. You’re hurting—you’re scared—you’re shaking. Let me help you.”

I nod again, meeting his eyes, which are now open and relaxed. He looks nervous, but not as nervous as I am. I’m scared—since Razel told him to consummate our bond. It didn’t look like Rai was interested in obeying Razel’s advice, but still. I’m not ready!

“I... I don’t know where to start,” I say. I’m distracted by the collar on the table and my soulmate’s enticing scent. Everything scares me! “I don’t understand what that is...” I nod toward the table. “It was... I wasn’t myself. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t act. I was... _controlled_.” I look at Rai and narrow my eyes. “I was forced to obey—the demon _and_ you.”

Rai runs a frustrated hand through his hair and closes his eyes. But he replies.

“I didn’t realize—not at first. I felt something was different and the collar was weird, but I just met you. I didn’t know if I perhaps didn’t notice how your voice sounded before. It was sort of captivating. I didn’t think anything was wrong until he told you to, um... yield. And I saw you kneeling.”

A hot blush floods my cheeks and I can’t meet his eye. I flinch when I feel Rai’s fingers brush my arms.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

“I don’t actually _know_ that!” I snap, surprised at the wrath in my voice. “He... he took _advantage_ of me! He forced me to submit! I couldn’t do anything on my own! And you didn’t help me! You could use it against me, too!”

“I’m so sorry, Konoe,” Rai says, and his face looks earnest and desperate. “You’re my soulmate. I could never do anything to hurt you—not deliberately. You know this.”

“I _don’t_ know this. I don’t know _you_!”

“Kitten, it’s how the soulbond works. If I hurt you, I will cause myself pain. It’s what ensures consent within all aspects of the bond.”

That makes my ears perk up. Does this mean he really isn’t going to consider fucking me tonight?

“Does that mean you won’t, um, do what Razel told you to do?” I keep my voice quiet and careful.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... um, fu—um, consummating the bond? I’m just not ready!” The last phrase bursts out rather anxiously. I know he could force me even without the collar. 

“I already told you, Konoe. I am more than willing to wait. I would never touch you against your will. I wouldn’t enjoy it! It goes _against_ our bond.”

“But ours is not like other soulbonds!” Even more desperate now, I forget how hard I am trying to restrain my tears. “I’m a fucking Sanga! It’s my entire life’s purpose to support someone else—support _you_ —and lend you my power! As if I have _no_ reason to live on my own!” Tears spill down my face.

“That isn’t what I... Fuck.” Rai looks utterly helpless—which is an expression I’ve never seen before. “Konoe. It’s _not_ what I want for you, for _us_. I want you to be _yourself_ —to live beside me as my partner, as my _equal_. I never want to be set above you. I just can’t see myself lording it over anyone in a relationship. Not—um, not after my parents.”

A small spark—Rai revealing a tiny piece of his past—lights up and softens me. But I’m still frightened.

“But the dean—Razel—he said—”

“I don’t care _what_ he said. It’s got nothing to do with him,” Rai says firmly. He’s no longer touching my arm, but I look at him, trying to discern his words. “Konoe, listen. My parents were in a soulbond and my father—he ruled over my mother like she was a servant. She never lifted her face or voice to him in anything. He abused her, took advantage of her—of _both_ of us. I know it hurt him when he hit her, but he thought it was worth the control it gave him over us. I swore to myself I’d _never_ be like him.”

“Rai.” I have no idea what else to say.

“So believe me—I will _never_ hurt you. I will never force you to do anything against your will. I will never force my desires over yours. I promise you. And I will protect you from that tyrant of a demon.” Rai stands up suddenly from the couch and paces anxiously. “What the _hell_ was he thinking, moving you to that... _prison_? The doors lock from the outside! It was appalling! You’re a _student_ here!”

“But I just met you,” I say softly.

“Do you not wish to stay with me? I will sleep on the couch. You can have the bed.”

“I couldn’t—”

“I can’t stand the thought of you living in a place like that! Especially not...” His voice trails off for a moment and I lift my eyebrows. He doesn’t continue.

“Especially not...?” I prompt after a few moments.

“Especially not knowing that you’re my soulmate. That there is something _magic_ in your voice. _Listen_ ,” he says again, more urgently, kneeling in front of me dramatically. Strands of silver hair float around his shoulders and over my knees—and I quite like how they look there. After a deep breath, he says, “I don’t care if you’re magic or not. I don’t care if you’re a Sanga or not. All I want—everything I’ve ever wanted—is to get to know you for who you are, your dreams, your goals, what you love, and what you hate. I want you to achieve what _you_ want to achieve—stand back and watch you take what you want from the world.”

I’m a little taken aback by the romantic tone of his speech. Not knowing how to respond, I chew my lip. He stops his fingers from reaching out to my face and asks, “May I?”

I nod, and he brushes them ever so softly against my lips.

“If we are going to do this—live here, together—I want you to know that I will stop anything anytime, no matter your reason, without question. I don’t just mean that I understand that no means no. I understand you’re not ready for a physical relationship yet. That’s all right. I’m _happy_ to wait. Let’s instead decide that yes means yes. I will wait for you to instigate. And even if you instigate and change your mind and want to stop, all you have to do is say so, and I will. Do you understand?”

I nod again, unable to speak. Consent is a relatively new concept in our society. It wasn’t even ten years ago when it was assumed that going on a date with someone implied consent to do just about anything physical. The idea a couple might go on a date and _not_ kiss (or fuck) was unheard of. That’s why I’ve stayed away from dating. Even soulmates, from what I understand, believed they had unlimited access to their bond’s body. It frightened me—both because of my lack of experience and also my lack of interest.

I swear I haven’t been all that interested in sex at all until I laid eyes on the silver cat. And sometimes, I feel like I can’t control myself around him. But he has always asked before kissing me—and even then he’d go slow enough to allow me to stop him even if I consented. That makes me feel a little guilty—considering how easily I have touched him or dragged him into a kiss of my own and how easy-going he is about it.

I understand consent. It was drilled into us during that first week we moved into the dorms—especially concerning the upcoming mating season. It made sense to me—but even I know of people who still don’t wait and feel entitled to take whatever they like. It relieves me—and seems a little unbelievable—that Rai is openly speaking about it.

“Yes,” I manage to say. “Thank you.”

Rai shakes his head, still in front of me.

“You don’t need to thank me for treating you as you deserve. So, now. That collar,” he says, his voice filled with derision and disgust. “I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I don’t think I’m magic,” I say, my voice soft—but even saying so out loud makes a weird little shimmer rush through my veins. “But if there _is_ something to it—if that collar will keep me safe from others or keep me from getting kicked out of school, I will wear it if you think it’s best.”

“I don’t want you to _obey_ me,” Rai says. “I want you to make your own decisions. But I do wonder what would happen if we ignored the collar—would they force you to live in that horrible dungeon if I flout their rules so obviously?”

“I’d rather wear it, in that case. If it’s you...”

“If it’s me, you can rest assured that I will never humiliate you or ask you to do anything like ‘yielding,’ whatever the fuck that is supposed to be.”

“It felt so weird,” I murmur. “My body was compelled to kneel—I had no choice or volition of my own. And not only that—it felt... it felt strangely safe and secure. As if yielding was for _my_ benefit, where I belonged, my place. It almost felt like what I wanted to do.”

“That’s frightening. Konoe—kitten—I will never ask that of you. And I will do my best to prevent the dean from treating you that way again. If you’re sure, I’ll help you with the collar and walk you to your classes and we can do as Razel suggested. We can try a few days and see how it goes?”

I nod.

“Are you all right living with me?”

“Yes. I’d much rather be here than in that dungeon.”

“I could cause a fuss and ask you to be returned to your dorm?”

I shake my head and then think of Tokino.

“Oh, gods. I need to talk to my roommate. He will be so worried!”

“I can call him? Do you want to call him?”

“He doesn’t have a phone, and the phone in the dorm is three floors down.”

“Let me fetch him, then. I’ll bring him here. You won’t have to show him that collar and you can decide exactly what you want to share. But if it’s all right—I’d rather wait for the movers to drop off your things first. I have a weird feeling. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I kinda want you to stay with me, too.”

“Let’s get your stuff, and you can start settling in while I find your friend and bring him back here.”

“I might, um, I might not tell him the truth. Or maybe not the _entire_ truth,” I confess.

“It’s okay. I won’t say anything except that you want to talk, and I’ll go along with anything you say. Or I can leave you alone if you’d rather.”

“Okay,” I agree. “I’ll decide later. Do you have room to keep me here? I feel like I’m imposing.”

“You’re not—and you’ll never—impose on me. I don’t have a lot of stuff. There’s room in the dresser, closet, and wardrobe. Do you have any kitchen supplies?”

I shake my head.

“I had the meal plan with the dorms.”

Rai nods.

“All right. Well, we can talk about what to do for meals later. I like to cook—the dorm food isn’t bad, but the student pantry is even better.”

“Pantry?” I ask.

“Yeah—it’s a no-cost option for local produce, meat and dairy, some ready-to-cook meals and other ingredients.” Rai looks at me again. “Konoe, I’m so sorry about all this.”

“What? It’s not your fault.”

“I just mean—you must be so disappointed. But if you are a Sanga, you will be incredibly powerful on your own. You don’t need me to succeed, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“My foster father raised me on histories of ancient Sanga and Touga. Their relationships were balanced, bound in respect and equality, despite what the fairytales say. The Sanga _chooses_ to support his partner, just as the Touga chooses to support his. There is no one to dictate how you want to run with this thing. Hell, maybe you won’t even want to sing for _me_.” His voice softens a little and he glances at me with the sweetest, most gentle hopefulness I’ve ever seen. I can’t help giving him an encouraging smile.

“If I can sing, I would be honored to sing for you,” I assure him.

He smiles.

“Now, one more thing—before the movers come—I want to know if you would be willing to let me know what you’re comfortable with physically.”

I’m taken aback again by the question.

“As in...?”

“I am drawn to you—inexplicably drawn to you. You are the most attractive cat I’ve ever laid eyes on—and I can’t stop thinking about this afternoon—”

“Rai!” I interrupt sharply, incredibly embarrassed.

“I’m not expecting anything. But I would like to be able to touch your arm or back and hold your hand without frightening you. Unless you’d prefer me to keep my distance?”

“I think that’s okay. I don’t hate being touched by you.”

Rai smiles, and the smile borders on something a little wicked when he lets out a chuckle.

“I figured. But how about I won’t kiss you without asking? I’ll let you instigate?”

“Okay. That would honestly make me feel better,” I admit, but I avert my gaze. I’m ashamed that I’m the one who has been kissing him without asking. “D-do you want me to ask you, too? I mean, if I want to kiss you?”

Rai shakes his head.

“My answer is always an enthusiastic yes,” he smiles. “What about hugging you? Are you comfortable with that?”

I have to think about it for a second. Tokino sometimes would hug me or cuddle with me—and I found it incredibly soothing. I haven’t had anyone recently to provide me with physical contact and assurance. It’s nice—and so tempting.

“I think I would like that. You don’t have to ask.”

“What about right now?” Rai asks, his voice low and his eyes uncharacteristically drop for a second.

“What about it?”

“May I hug you now?”

My drawn features melt into a soft smile. My shoulders relax, and I reach out my arms, pulling Rai’s body closer to me.

“I just said you don’t have to ask.”

I close my eyes and relax, letting the warmth from Rai’s body melt into mine. It’s wonderful to feel his relaxed breathing and the strong beat of his heart when it’s pressed against mine. He hums softly—a wonderful satisfied sound—and tears prickle the corners of my eyes.

It’s as if he senses them—or perhaps he hears a soft hitch in my breath.

“It’s all right, kitten. We’re going to be all right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realize Rai is pretty OOC here. I figure he’s a little like the student in the Fluffy School Days fic—where he hasn’t met Froud nor has he had a huge falling out with Bardo yet. And Bardo described him as a sweet kid (before all that). So let’s just go with it.


	10. Tell Me A Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe gets settled into Rai’s apartment and updates his friend Tokino on his new living situation. Overwhelmed by the events of the past few days, Konoe breaks down. Rai comforts him in a way only a soulmate can.
> 
> Triggers: There’s some sexual stuff in this chapter, but more dirty-talking than touching. And Rai might be messing with his soulmate just a little. He can’t help it.

After our discussion, the movers arrive with my belongings. I don’t own a lot of stuff—a box of clothes, a box of books and household items, and my toiletries. Rai seems somewhat doubtful that they collected everything, but I assure him that this is all I own. Everything else I’ve sold for tuition at this damned university.

He leaves me to unpack to fetch Tokino. Twenty minutes later—and I’m already half-way done—he walks in the door with my auburn-haired friend hot on his heels.

“Konoe! I’ve been so worried!”

“Oh, it’s fine,” I explain, standing up from my task, organizing my clothes in one of the free dresser drawers.

“Sit,” Rai murmurs. “Let me finish. You sit down and talk to your friend.” I head to the living room and Rai gives us a little privacy.

“What on earth is going on?” Tokino asks.

I launch into the tale—leaving out the most embarrassing stuff, for the most part, such as that damned collar. Tokino’s eyes flash to the horrid leather neckband on the coffee table, but I ignore it. I don’t want to go there—especially not if the entire school will see me walking around campus wearing it and acting weird during the next few days.

“So... is this because you found your soulmate? I don’t understand,” Tokino says, after patiently listening to my explanation.

“The dean says I’m a Sanga—and Rai is my Touga. As a result, I guess, our relationship is going to be, um, unbalanced. The Sanga supports the Touga.” I'm not convinced myself, and Tokino sure isn't, either.

“But you’ve worked so hard to get here!” My friend bursts out. “I don’t get it! I mean, I _get_ that Rai is good-looking. But if he’s your soulmate, he’s not going to want you to give up your life's ambitions!”

“He doesn’t,” I assure him.

“You’ve only just _met_ —and even that was reluctant on your part! And now you’re moving in with him?!”

“Oh, that’s because the alternative—because I’m ‘magic,’ they say—is to live in the basement of the clinic. They have prison-like rooms down there. They are horrible.”

“Oh,” Tokino muses in disbelief. He scratches his ears and looks at me, lowering his voice. “If something happens—will you be able to tell me? I will help you.”

“Nothing is going to happen,” I protest, but he interrupts me.

“What if—I don’t know. But if your soul bond is different from other people, can he, like, _control_ you? What if he abuses you? Or takes advantage?” He is glancing off toward the bedroom, hissing his questions in hope that I understand the urgency without letting Rai overhear.

“Tokino, I will tell you if I need help. I promise. He’s kind—and he’s willing to take things slow—especially the physical stuff. We’ve talked about it and have an arrangement. And he hates the idea of a subservient soulmate.”

“So he _says_ ,” Tokino says. “But what happens when he experiences it for himself?”

“Experiences what?”

“Well—if you start submitting to him? Or act all, I don't know, _subservient_ around him? He might make you rub his feet or something. How could he—or anyone, really—pass that up?”

A pink blush floods my ears—because, jeez, if Tokino had seen me “yield” while wearing that collar, he wouldn’t be mentioning this now. Rubbing Rai's feet is the least of my worries.

“Please,” I say. And I leave it at that. “It’s late and I'm tired. I really should get to bed. My new schedule starts tomorrow.”

Tokino shuffles to the door, looking around the apartment curiously, concern etched into his features. But I lean in and press my nose against his shoulder.

“I’ll be fine. Thanks for coming, Tokino.”

He returns the gesture, ruffles the fur on my ears, and sees himself out. The door shuts behind him and exhaustion covers me. Rai appears by my side and wraps his arms around me.

“Kitten. Let’s get you to bed.”

Oh, good gods! The sound of those words in that voice does something wicked to me! I have been trying so hard to take things slowly, and Rai is _not_ helping! And worse, he’s not even doing it deliberately. My heart and cock throb simultaneously, pressuring my mind, "Oh yes, _let_ him take us to bed."

After some disagreement about sleeping arrangements, Rai finally tucks me into his bed—and it smells so nice and comforting with his sheets and pillows. He curls up on the couch with a blanket. I can see his back from where I am in the bedroom since I left the bedroom door open.

Even as tired as I am and as comforting as the bed feels, I can’t settle down and sleep. Anxiety courses through my body—ranging from my new status as a Sanga and soulmate to the most handsome cat on campus to that damned "magic" collar and my new schedule. I try to resist it as long as possible, refraining from tossing around in the sheets, but my worries eventually spill over—into tears.

I cry into the pillow, restraining my sobs as much as possible. I’m hoping to Ribika that Rai is already asleep—but it isn’t more than a minute before he pads softly to the bedroom.

“Konoe. _Kitten_.”

His voice is soft and gentle—and so _welcome_. I want his comfort more than anything, and it feels like he can sense my needs. He walks up to the bed and sits down next to me, asking, “May I?”

I nod, struggling to control my tears. He curls up behind me, pulling me to his chest and turning me to face him, combing his claws through my ears and hair, stroking my back and shoulders. He doesn’t shush me, but his concern spills over, encouraging me to let out my emotions.

Once I manage to settle down—and all my tears are shed—I’m left with hitching breaths and a trembling body.

“You’re exhausted. This has been a tiring week for you—I can’t even imagine. But you’re safe here. And you need to sleep. Will you let me help you?”

I nod. To my surprise, he turns me around and pulls my back against his chest. He stretches out long and lean, then curls around me, continuing to stroke my hair. Then, he takes both my hands in his and holds them firmly and gently at my chest.

“I can show you what helps me sleep,” he says.

“Okay,” I agree, a shaky voice.

“I won’t touch you more than this.”

“All right.” So I quiet down, my ears flicking back toward his voice.

“All you have to do is relax and close your eyes. Take deep breaths—here, match mine.” He takes a long breath in, holds it for four seconds, and then exhales. It takes a few tries for me to match his breathing. I already feel a little better.

“Now,” he whispers, his voice conspiratorial, “I like to explore the pleasant thoughts in my head as I relax and go to sleep. So tonight, let me tell you what’s been on my mind. I want you to keep your eyes closed and just try to picture the images in your head while you listen to my voice. Stay nice and calm and relaxed.”

“Okay,” I sniffle pathetically.

I’m ashamed for crying like a baby in front of my strong, powerful soulmate. But I’m more than touched that he isn’t making fun of me, he isn’t teasing me, and he seems concerned and wants to help.True to his word, he keeps both hands holding mine in front of my body, massaging my fingers and knuckles as his body presses up tight against my back.

“So as you heard, the mating season is not so far around the corner,” Rai begins, settling in with my head tucked beneath his chin and his mouth at my ear. My fur moves with every word and puff of hot breath ( _sizzling_ hot, I try not to notice). “For the past couple of nights—since I first met you and your name appeared on my wrist—I’ve been doing some _imagining_. Now, I know you said you’d like to take things slowly in our physical relationship, and I’m perfectly fine with that. However, it’s only right for me to be honest and forthright about my desires and fantasies. As your soulmate, of course, and in the interest of deepening our bond.”

“Of course,” I mumble, my ear twitching underneath soft lips as if to escape the words. But Rai’s low, purring voice is the most pleasant thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve never really had an attraction to voices before, but I swear if sex had a sound, it would be his voice. Even now, I have to struggle to keep my hands from pulling at my pajamas and stripping myself naked. It’s ridiculous!

“So... have you been through the mating season before?”

“No,” I admit. “It’s mostly for females, right? I mean, so they can get pregnant? And why most of our birthdays cluster in the summer and winter?”

Rai chuckles, a soft huff against my ear. It sends a visceral shiver both outside the thin skin of my ear and deep inside, like a physical touch. That’s what his voice feels like—a caress from a distance.

“Oh, kitten, you’ll be _surprised_. I’m excited to go through the season with you.”

At his enthusiastic yet quiet tone, I feel nervous. He picks up on my stiffening body right away.

“Don’t worry. Just relax,” Rai assures me, keeping my hands held tight and pressing them to my chest. “I won’t touch you—not now, not then. I won’t make advances or pressure you. I will wait for your lead. Just like we do with kissing.”

A small sputter escapes my mouth as I am again reminded of the incident on the couch earlier this afternoon. He barely even touched me and I came in my pants like a hormonal teenager! It was so embarrassing—

“ _Stop_ ,” Rai whispers, and the tone sounds like a command and makes my heart leap in a weird little flutter. I’m reminded of being told to yield and how easily my body submitted. But I’m not wearing the collar now. So this is confusing. “It was _hot_. I thought it was _wonderful_. Maybe I haven’t explained, but I never thought I’d have a soulmate. And not only do I have a soulmate, but he happens to be perfectly. My. Type.”

A soft touch brushes my ear, sending a set of fresh shimmers of pleasure into my body.

“Fierce, powerful, opinionated, beautiful, sensitive—all wrapped up in the goddess’s perfect, compact package.” The distracting sensation at my ear makes me take a moment to understand the words—and that Rai is talking about _me_. _And_ I think he just called me short!

“Are you commenting on my height?” I grumble, a pout on my lips.

“ _That’s_ your response to my attempts at romance?” Rai sputters now, laughing softly. I try not to think about how nice that laughter rings in my heart. “See, this is why we are _perfect_ for each other.” He takes a moment to gather his thoughts and continues. “I’m not telling you any of this to pressure you. I just want to share what I’m thinking, how I’m feeling, what I desire—for you. For _us_. I’ve never wanted to share my feelings with another cat before. This is new. Is that all right?”

“I suppose,” I disagreeably acknowledge.

“All right. So. I’ve been through several seasons before. You get some not-quite-flu-like symptoms, like a fever, body aches, chest pain, the feeling your fur is being stroked the wrong way—”

“What?” I ask. “That sounds _miserable_! Is it that bad?”

“Let me talk. You sleep. Or listen to the sound of my voice and rest, anyway,” Rai says, pulling me up a little closer. “It’s bad, but not as bad as you might expect. And there is a way to fix the symptoms.”

“What is it?”

“Well, your body will know when it finds a compatible partner. Both your symptoms will increase and induce rut.”

“Rut?” My ears flood with heat when I realize I just echoed _that_ word.

“Yes. You can just ease into it—and nothing feels quite like the touch from a compatible partner. I’ve heard from friends that experiencing these symptoms with their soulmate blows the sex—or whatever sort of touch they indulge in—out of the water. There’s no pain, there’s no discomfort—it’s as if your bodies fit together like a puzzle piece, like you’ve found your other half, like your souls touch. Some people can experience their partner’s emotions during the act itself.”

That would, conceivably, mean that I’d be able to experience both my climax and Rai’s—and _oh, my gods_ , why am I thinking about this so carefully?! Instead of giving away my thoughts, I just whisper, “I see,” in a strangled tone.

“Still, know that I will not instigate any relations.”

 _Relations_? I suppress a giggle. Who calls fucking “relations” these days? I love it—I find it utterly charming and endearing—and the blood is now refusing to disperse from my groin.

“I may, however, be fantasizing about it,” Rai admits as if he is confessing a deep, dark secret. “I’ve been having dreams about you, you see. And then—when I experience you in person—kissing you, touching you—you blow those fantastic dreams completely out of the water. You are _made_ for me.”

A genuine shudder ripples through my body, but I’m pulled up even tighter against Rai’s broad chest. I also notice the beginnings of an erection pushing against the cleft of my ass, and I’m thankful for the pajamas and sweats that are acting as barriers. If only Rai’s voice didn’t put those barriers at such a risk... _Keep your clothes on, Konoe! Down, boy! Down!_

“Since our... connection in the living room, all I can think about is that if you are _that_ sensitive now, what kind of incubus are you going to be when you’re in heat? It’s this thought I have to keep pushing out of my mind because it drives me to utter distraction. Can you feel my heart pounding against your back?”

“Mmm,” I manage—and it sounds so incredibly sexual and aroused and vulgar I blush even harder. Rai’s usual slow, steady heartbeat throbs against my back. At the same time, his erection (which, by the gods, I _hope_ is at full mast because if not, he’s going to split me in half the first time he puts that thing inside me) insists on making its presence known as well.

Rai makes a small sound—a sexual sounding sigh—directly into my ear. I don’t know if it’s because the wave that moves my body and presses up against him, or if it’s in response to the sound of my voice. I feel light-headed and dizzy—almost like I might faint—and I lewdly lick my lips and swallow, trying to control some of the drool from spilling out of my mouth. But he just keeps talking in that silky, sexy voice.

“I’d love to take my time with you—getting to know your body, what you enjoy, what feels the best—while stripping off your clothes.”

He isn’t touching more than my hands and pressing against my back, and it isn’t explicitly sexual. But the more he speaks, the more that dizzy heat fills my brain, making my thoughts slow down and picture (in detail) what he is describing. My heart flutters like a butterfly in my chest and my hands start to sweat.

“I’d start by stripping you nude—and I’d want to be naked, too, to allow as much of my skin to touch yours as possible. You see, when you’re in heat with a compatible partner, touch is loaded with possibility and energy—almost like static electricity. I’d stroke you from the plush fur on these ridiculous, expressive ears—kissing them softly—” A loud smooch sounds in my ear when he lands a whisper of a kiss at the tip, “—and comb my claws through your hair. Your coloring is so lovely—like sunlight—and your hair is so soft. And you smell delicious—sweet and floral and warm, like dripping honey in a summer meadow.”

My heart clenches in my chest—close to painful now—and my purr gets louder. I let out what I mean to be a pained groan but instead, a luscious moan fills the air. I’d be more embarrassed by the sound if Rai didn’t respond in such a nice way.

“Gods, the _sounds_ you make—even when you try to suppress them—Konoe, I’m utterly _captivated_ by your voice. I know deep in my heart that you are a Sanga. I feel the pull of magic beneath my skin whenever you open your mouth. It scares me sometimes. What if I lost my concentration because of the timbre of your voice? I cannot begin to imagine what it would feel like for you to sing for me in battle, let alone in the bedroom.”

He gathers both my hands in one of his and moves the other to my tail. Again, not specifically a sexual touch, but one that nevertheless sends a wave of pleasure and belonging through my body. I’ve felt sexual attraction before, of course. I’m eighteen. I’ve never done more than kiss another person before Rai—and even that was more accidental than planned. But this is _more_ than sexual attraction. This feels like a hook in my soul, something connecting the deepest part of me toward the deepest part of him. Is that what a soul connection is all about?

“Once I have you naked, I’d explore your body from head to toe, ears to tail, with my fingers, my lips, my nose, my tongue. I’d lavish all the years of longing I have on you, finding all your most sensitive spots, perhaps leaving a little nip here and there to mark you as _mine_.”

Can I imagine it? Indeed, I _can_. What would that feel like—being completely exposed before the silver cat, allowing his caresses, his kisses, his gentle touches, and even a bite here and there? Would he discover how sensitive my nipples are? That I can almost come from playing with them alone?

“Grooming your fur—from your ears to your tail, as well as that silky soft tuft below your navel—would come next. I’ve touched you there already—but I still want to know—blonde? Caramel? The same white as your fur?”

I hum again softly—almost a protest. This is definitely overwhelming my anxiety, but it _isn’t_ helping me sleep. My breath picks up.

“I don’t know what sort of experience you have, Konoe.” And oh gods, when he whispers my name it feels like a kiss! “But I want to overwrite them all—with my touch, my hands, my body. I want to watch you touch yourself, holding myself back, to see how you get yourself off and what feels best to you. I can’t stop thinking about it—how you’d look, completely naked, undone with pleasure, uninhibited, so hard that your cock is dripping and your eyes are rolling back in your head.”

Shifting slightly in the bed, I subtly adjust my underwear beneath my flannel sleep pants. I’m uncomfortably erect now, and even that tiny movement sends a shock of pleasure into my hips. My tail bristles as Rai continues to caress it with nothing more than a feather-light touch. My heart pounds loud and fast in my ears.

“But even I know that watching you wouldn’t be enough. I’d want to take over—lower my mouth to your hips, lick up your thighs to feel your sensitive skin shiver beneath my tongue, cradle your balls in my hand, and land a teasing kiss at the tip of your dick. And just when you think I’m about to pull away—and you’re arching back into the mattress, toes curled and claws drawn—I’ll press my tongue right into your dripping slit. I’ll taste you— _devour_ you—letting the sweet taste of your precum dissolve in my mouth. And when you cry out in pleasure, I will sink your whole cock into my mouth, sucking you down deep. You’ll be able to feel the back of my throat and the rumble of my purr surrounding you—”

“Oh, gods, _Rai_...” His words are doing something to my body physically—arousal climbing even faster than whatever happened on the couch. He’s barely touching me, but I can't seem to stop it or hold back.

“—You’ll be overcome with pleasure when you feel my hand at the base of your tail, squeezing it just right...” He squeezes the base of my tail so gently but just at the right time.

“Rai— _please_ ,” I whisper, my entire body flushing with a wonderful combination of pleasure and embarrassment. I suddenly sense every inch of his body—even through my pajamas, the heat from his body wraps around mine. His breath, his voice, his hands—all of it builds to an overwhelming sensation, bubbling up unexpectedly to an indulgent surge.

Before I realize what is happening—and I don't have even a single instant in which I can walk any of the sensations back—I realize my body is no longer shuddering, but actually spasming. The warmest feeling spills throughout my body, flushing my skin red and pouring from my skin, my mouth, my eyes—and I realize, too late, that I am coming. _Again_. Nearly untouched and _just_ from the sound of Rai’s voice.

Rai purrs loud and pleased in response—and because he’s stopped his narration, I am well aware that he knows _exactly_ what is going on. If he didn’t already, he knows from the loud, disappointed, humiliated sound that mixes in with my erotic moan. The blood boiling beneath my skin hovers in my ears and cheeks, and I feel a flush down my neck.

“Oh, my gods—I can’t believe I did that again!” The words spill from my mouth in an embarrassed moan, even as my body relaxes in a post-orgasmic haze. I’m so ashamed—but I can’t tell if the pleasure and relaxation I’m feeling now, and the simple act of physical release, adds or takes away from that shame.

Rai’s body is shaking slightly behind me, and it takes me just a moment to realize he is suppressing laughter. I feel mightily offended—but when I turn to meet his gaze angrily, his face has melted into the hottest, sexiest expression I’ve ever seen.

“You have no _idea_ ,” he says, touching my chin. “You are so _perfect_ —and that was fucking _hot_. I mean, I barely _touched_ you earlier—on the couch—and this time, even less—”

“Stop it,” I huff, annoyed and embarrassed.

“I mean—just from my _voice_? From the words? You’re so sensitive! I _love_ it!” He pauses for a second and touches my chin. “And I love _you_. May I kiss you?”

I don’t wait for him to instigate the kiss or say anything. Instead, I pull him toward me, soften my lips, and relax my jaw. His tongue explores inside my mouth as if tasting me, and he hums—another incredibly arousing sound.

“Holy fuck, we’d better get you cleaned up before you keep us both up all night.” He chuckles again and hops off the bed—and I don’t miss the bulge tenting beneath his sweats. Fear and anticipation tingle at the base of my tail, and I turn away so as not to stare, opting instead for the mature behavior of covering my blushing face with a pillow.

My body jumps when a warm wet towel pushes against my belly. I want to resist—take the towel from him in irritation (part of me feels a little teased), but when he looks at me so indulgently, I can’t bring myself to do it. I just let him care for me.

“You said you’d wait,” I say accusingly.

“I didn’t do anything you hadn’t specifically approved,” he says, a smile playing at his lips. “And you feel better now, don’t you? Like you can sleep?”

“Mmm.” He’s right. I’m more than ready to sleep now.

“Like you’re probably going to sleep _really_ well after that.” His tone is teasing, but any hurt or offense I feel—even if he was making fun of me—dissolves. He did do it on purpose—maybe to see if he could and to see how I would respond. But he intended to help me relax. And he succeeded. If it were anyone else...

Well, if it had been anyone else, it _never_ would have happened. I’m just lucky I managed to keep my clothes on!

Since I already came once today—and I am _not_ counting what happened in the morning, though those nocturnal releases probably also have some effect—there isn’t much to clean up. My limbs are nearly paralyzed, and my eyes can no longer stay open. I feel _good_ —it feels right here—and it smells so nice.

“I’m going to hop in the shower,” Rai says. “You sleep.”

Before he can leave, my hand shoots out and grabs his arm. Even that forearm feels like iron. It’s confusing because of how well I fit against him. His body felt soft and comfortable.

“Come back,” I whisper. “Don’t sleep on the couch. Sleep here. With me.”

He leans in to kiss my eyelids, making them flutter closed. He just hums and heads to the shower. I’m asleep before he is finished. But when I wake in the night, feeling his body pressed up tight against mine, I realize what he was probably doing in the shower and feel another bolt of heat surging through my groin.

Gods, if this is my life now, I’m _never_ going to get anything done! Well. Except quite possibly my new soulmate. _Eventually_. When I’m ready.


	11. The First Day of the Rest of Konoe’s Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe wakes in Rai’s apartment, feeling slightly flustered. His first two classes don’t go quite as expected.
> 
> Triggers: Trip shows up in this chapter. He’s intimidating and mean to Konoe.

That night, I sleep like a baby. In the morning, I wake in Rai’s bed alone. The door to the bedroom is open and the delicious scent of freshly brewed coffee wafts in from the kitchen. And I hear something sizzling—is that bacon and eggs? It smells good, too.

I stand up, giving my body a long, lean stretch, and adjust my pajamas before heading out to the kitchen. My stomach growls and I am craving a cup of coffee so much that I don’t remember about what happened last night. At least, that’s how I feel until I lay eyes on the cat cooking in the kitchen.

Rai. Of course. My soulmate. He’s wearing an apron over a pair of boxers, standing in bare feet on the cold kitchen floor. He’s facing away from me but notices my arrival. So he gives me a glance over his shoulder. Silver hair flutters out of his way—as if it would dare defy him. Pale blue eyes capture my essence. The most gorgeous ass I have ever seen, covered only with a pair of black boxer briefs. His fluffy tail sways seductively when he meets my gaze. And my memories flood back all at once.

In his bed. And how effortlessly I came. Just from his voice—his words—his fantasies, spoken aloud. Again, and even worse than the incident on the couch! My gods, it’s too early to deal with this! His lips curl up slightly and he opens his mouth.

“Good morning. You slept well.”

I rub my eyes, a little surprised to find them still slightly crusty with sleep. My hair must be a mess. I should clean up before I sit down here, so I duck my head and rush to the bathroom.

“Are you all right, kitten?” Rai’s gorgeous voice echoes from the kitchen. All I can think about is how his breath felt against me last night. How easily he coaxed my body into arousal and how pliable I was. He didn’t even have to touch me!

I don’t know whether to be ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated, or even a little flattered by his attention. He didn’t do anything to me—not really. I’m not angry. I’m just so incredibly flustered and feeling so shy. I mean, yes, I’ve been through puberty. But it’s been years since I had to suffer this sort of unexpected and heated arousal.

Intending to rinse my face and ears and pull myself together, I happen to glimpse myself in the mirror. My reflection looks wild—my hair is tousled, my skin is flushed, my ears are ruffled and pink. My eyes are dilated and my fangs peek out between my lips. I’m surprised by my reflection. I look... _sexy_.

Ignoring that realization to the best of my ability, I proceed to wash my face and try to cool down my skin with cold water. Even after, I peek up at my reflection before leaving the bathroom. I _still_ look sexed up. Fucked out. And that cannot be possible—since I haven’t actually had sex with anyone. I mean, not exactly.

“You all right?” Rai’s voice from behind the door sends a little shiver down my spine.

“Um, yeah,” I say, half-heartedly when I realize I am going to have to go back out there and face him at some point. Sighing softly, I push open the door.

Rai is waiting at the table, holding two plates in his hands.

“Come eat. Then I’ll walk you to your first class.”

That’s right, I think, my heart sinking with the thought. My new schedule starts today. My new training as what? A Sanga? Seriously? I push the thought away and dig into the food. It’s delicious—as is the coffee, especially with sugar and cream.

“What do you want to do about the collar?” Rai asks.

“What do you mean? I have to wear it, don’t I?”

“Well, it’s what I gathered from the dean yesterday. But what are they going to do to you if you refuse?”

Rai wasn’t in the dean’s office when I saw that cabinet filled with implements for punishment. What did Razel say to me again? He hadn’t had a chance to use his equipment in years but is longing to? I shake my head, despite myself.

“I think I have to obey. In the dean’s office—there’s this cabinet.” I have a hard time expressing what’s on my mind. The idea of the dean spanking me is too humiliating.

“What kind of cabinet?” Rai asks.

It looks like I’m going to have to finish my thought.

“When I was resistant to the collar in the first place, he showed me inside this antique-looking cabinet. It was filled with, um, whips, canes, paddles... that sort of thing. He indicated that he hasn’t been able to use them since the last Sanga attended here—something about how Sanga learn very quickly through corporal punishment.”

“ _Seriously_?” Rai huffs with an expression of disbelief. “You're _serious_? You didn’t mention this last night. That’s bold—of him to threaten you so directly.”

“I didn’t know what to say at the time. He _frightens_ me, Rai.” I look up to meet Rai’s gaze then across the table. He lays his hand on top of my left, the one holding a fork.

“It’s all right. He can’t hurt you. At least, I don’t think he can.”

“Did you _see_ the room in the basement of the medical clinic? I think he can—and he _will_ —hurt me, if that’s what he thinks will get the fastest results.”

“All right,” Rai concedes. “Well. It’s your first day. Maybe we should comply and make a good impression. What’s your schedule like today?”

I stand up and pull the slip of paper out of my backpack. My first class is that culture class, followed immediately after by the recreation class (which Rai should be a part of), and then the “sub” class, whatever that is. After lunch, I have a medical appointment, which I’m not looking forward to at all.

“All right. Well. Both your classes are in the same place, one room apart. I haven’t been in these classrooms, but I know where they are. I’ll pick you up after your first class and take you with me to the recreation. Then, I can bring you back to your last class of the morning, and meet you for lunch. Sound OK?”

“I don’t want to see the doctor again,” I say, somewhat miserably.

“Want me to go with you?”

“Don’t you have class during that time, too?”

Rai shakes his head.

“I don’t. I’ll come along and go in with you this time.”

“Thank you,” I say. I’m hesitant about this, however, because I’m afraid I will be required to give another sample. Still. It won’t be as bad if Rai is there. Surely, the doctor won’t touch me inappropriately in front of Rai. Would he?

After breakfast, I take a quick shower and get dressed. Rai has already showered and he’s ready to go when I am.

“What do you think about the collar?” He asks.

“Um, I’d better wear it,” I say, somewhat hesitantly.

“I won’t command you,” Rai says.

“No, you should if you need to,” I say, keeping my voice soft.

“I won’t need to,” he murmurs into my ear, leaning in close. He has the collar in his hands and carefully attaches it to my neck. As before, I immediately feel weak in the knees and as if something heavy is weighing me down. It’s not exactly unpleasant—just a strange feeling, as if I have no will of my own. “Let’s go, kitten.”

“Yes, sir,” I reply, much to my surprise. Rai gives me a strange look and runs his claws through the fur on my ears.

“How about you keep quiet for now?”

I nod, following him closely out of the apartment, standing and waiting as he locks the door. I keep my eyes on the ground as I follow him, watching his boots carefully. I usually don’t walk with my eyes down, but I can’t seem to do anything else. I remember being uncomfortable in the collar before, but today I can’t seem to do anything different about it.

We head to my first class of the day, which is the one on culture. I don’t recognize the name of the teacher, but I’m surprised to see it’s being taught in what looks like an office rather than a classroom. Of course, if I’m the only student taking this class, that makes sense.

“Konoe?” A deep voice asks as I follow Rai into the office.

I nod, unable to lift my face.

“Welcome. Have a seat,” the teacher replies. I take a seat in a soft cushioned chair in front of the desk, keeping my eyes on the floor. Then he addresses Rai. “Thanks for bringing him. You’ll pick him up after class?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here. Should I remove his collar?”

“Please do. It’s not necessary.”

The collar is unbuckled and Rai leaves it on the desk in front of me. A huge weight is lifted off me when it comes off my neck, and I take a deep breath as if I’ve been holding it underwater. He also kisses me on the cheek.

“I’ll see you soon. Be good.”

A little shiver ripples down my spine when he whispers to me. Even without that collar, some part of me wants to “be good” for him. I’m finally able to look up—and I meet the golden gaze of this course’s instructor. He has black fur, but his hair and eyes are the same color and shape as mine. In fact, he looks like a slightly older version of me.

“I’m Professor Leaks,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “Nice to see you here in this class.”

“Um, good morning,” I say shyly.

He pushes a book across the desk toward me.

“Aside from the medical exams and the recreation class, you’ll most likely be having classes in close quarters with your teachers,” he explains. “It’s the best use of university space for a class with a single student. I'm sure it was as much of a surprise for them as it was for you—discovering your abilities, that is.”

I nod, looking around a little. The office is homey—all that’s missing is a fireplace. The walls are covered floor to ceiling in bookshelves bursting with all colors, types, and ages of tomes. It smells a little like a library. The hardwood floor is scattered with area rugs, and there is another sitting area on the other side of the room, perfect for curling up and reading books.

“So, um, this class is about the culture of Sanga?” I ask. I want to ask why he is teaching it—what exactly he knows about Sanga. “I was sure there were no Sanga anymore. I always thought we traded away magic for technology.”

“That’s true, for the most part,” Leaks concedes. “It's been a long time since we had a Sanga here. I haven’t been asked to teach this class before.”

“You haven’t?” I’m a little surprised. “Why did you decide to teach it?” I meet his gaze and he returns it thoughtfully.

“Konoe, you were too young to remember, but we’ve met before. I knew your father, Shui.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. He was a Sanga. A talented, genuine Sanga.” Leaks looks out the window, his eyes glazing over with nostalgia. “He was a good cat. A precious friend.”

“I see,” I say, somewhat uncomfortably.

“Anything I can do to assist his son, I’d do. Now. What do you know of the history of Sanga and Touga?”

With that, the class begins. It’s more like an informal discussion session, during which my participation is not only mandatory but would feel awkward if I didn’t respond. So I realize I will have to work my butt off in the class.

The book is a history book—filled with the history behind the fairytale stories I grew up with. The best Sanga recorded in history were paired with a soulmate as their Touga. For the next class, I’m to read the first two chapters of the book (so I have all weekend to do it), and also write up any notes and questions I have.

“This is your life now. It’s good to learn from others' experiences—you’d do it in the Touga program as well. I did it in the magician program.”

“You studied to be a magician? Here?” I’m a little surprised.

Leaks nods.

“I did. My time here overlapped with your father. I was doing graduate work while he finished his degree. So. It’s important to know your history if you want to find out where you’re going.”

The class goes by quickly—it’s interesting and compelling. I wasn’t sure before now that Sanga were ever real. I mean, our society still trains Touga, but not like it used to. Maybe this whole experience won’t be so bad.

Rai shows up on time to take me to the recreation class. It’s held in the gym, taught by a teacher I haven’t met yet named Trip. He’s young—and he reminds me of Virus, only without the glasses and with red fur instead of blonde. He has no sense of humor, and he’s a little upset that Rai and I join him in the gym a little late. We had to change into workout clothes, and it’s hard to change with Rai right there. There may have been a kiss or two exchanged in the locker room.

“Next week, I want you both ready to go at 10 AM on the dot,” Trip says, arms crossed. “Kitten, you may think you have a special privilege here, but you won’t in this class. I’m here to make you work. Sit down, both of you.”

I feel like a child, sitting on a gym mat next to Rai, trying my best not to touch him. And Trip begins his lecture.

“First, before we get started here, I need you both to understand that you need to consummate this relationship as soon as possible.”

“Excuse me?” Rai asks. “I don’t see how that’s the school’s business.”

“It is very much my business,” Trip says. “And until you do, the kitten has to wear his collar in my class.”

“What?” I ask, surprised.

“Why?” Rai asks.

“He’s too tempting to others who have trained as Touga, myself included,” Trip explains. “He needs your scent on him. And you need to complete your bond. If he’s unwilling, hell, just put the collar on him and he’ll do it with gusto.”

“That’s not—” Rai starts, but Trip interrupts.

“Shut up and listen to me,” Trip says, kneeling to get to my eye level. I have barely said anything and still, he’s intimidating me on purpose. “Unless you want your precious virginity taken from you without your consent, I’d suggest you let your soulmate do as he likes with you.”

I look away instantly, feeling a blush in my ears and cheeks. Trip reaches out and grabs my chin.

“Look at me.”

I obey, feeling Rai stiffen next to me at the contact.

“Don’t touch him,” he growls. I reach out a hand and rest it gently on top of his. I want to be sure Rai doesn’t start shit with this teacher on my behalf.

“You have the whole weekend. Just do it. Get it over with. It might be uncomfortable your first time, but you’ll love it in that collar.”

“That isn’t what—”

“Shut up,” Trip orders, and to my surprise, Rai snaps his mouth shut. “If you don’t, you won’t be welcome to join him in the class on Monday. And I’ll take care of it myself. Soulmate or not, you’ll lose your Sanga.”

"The _fuck_...?" Rai mutters in disbelief.

“I’m not _anyone’s_ Sanga!” I burst out.

In response, Trip wraps the collar around my neck, buckling it with enough force to make my body lurch forward and choke me. Instantly, my rage calms to discomforting quiet. I know soon enough that the discomfort will fade into weird masochistic obedience. The idea of being alone in this room wearing this collar with Trip scares the shit out of me.

“As long as you both understand, let’s get to work.”

He works us hard—having us do warmups and running. Then, he has us practice balance and lift weights.

“There’s not much else we can do until he can produce a song,” Trip explains, once the class is over. “He won’t be able to do that reliably until you fuck him. Regularly.”

My face heats up again, despite the collar. I look at the floor as I’m kneeling on the mat, waiting to be dismissed. I feel weirdly submissive.

“Get the fuck out of here, and make sure you fulfill the assignment.”

I’m relieved to get out of the collar for a second in the changing room. Trip walks in while we’re changing into our jeans, and he glares at Rai.

“What the fuck are you thinking?”

“What?” Rai asks, looking up from tying his shoes.

“You need to keep that damned collar _on_ him until his next instructor says it’s safe to take it off. You’re risking his... purity by giving him freedom in such a place.”

I bring the collar back up to my neck, unwilling to let Trip touch it, lifting my gaze to Rai as he bites his bottom lip. I look at him expectantly—giving him my permission to put the collar on.

“Don’t think that you have _any_ say in this, kitten,” Trip warns me. “You have no idea what your future looks like, but it’s nothing like you thought it was two days ago.”

“Yes, sir,” I reply miserably.

“As long as we understand each other. Get that assignment done,” Trip says after Rai has buckled the collar securely. He stalks out of the locker room, leaving me to get my shoes on.

“Let’s get you to the next class." I'm relieved to get out of there, and I go with Rai willingly.


End file.
